The Empire Strikes Barack

No matter which candidate you prefer, this is damn funny.

(Via - Spamwise)

Ten Seconds Of Love From The B-52s

We, The Fewer?

A new survey from Hunter College suggests that the number of gay people in America is lower than previously thought.

A new poll published in the United States on Wednesday claims that there are considerably less gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans than previously estimated. A Hunter College poll of 768 people who took part online found that just 2.9% identified as LGB. The gay population is normally estimated at around 5%.

The survey threw up some interesting results. Just 3.5% of the LGB population is over 65, while the average age of LGBs over 18 is lower than in the general population. "Exit polls are based on voters, the people who show up at the polls. Gays and lesbians vote much more consistently than the general population," Professor Patrick Egan of New York University, one of the poll's authors, explained to The Advocate.

"It's this sort of illusive concept that good political theorists want everyone to do, which is to be engaged with their community and by every measure, LGBs are more engaged with their communities than the general population." Women made up two thirds of those who said they were bisexual, whereas men made up two thirds of the gay/lesbian respondents.

I suppose an online poll might incline folks to be more honest, always an issue when trying to determine the size of our community. But you have to wonder about the methodology by which people were asked to complete the survey.

Audio: Eric Leven On Sirius OutQ

Here's the audio of Eric Leven's appearance on Michelangelo Signorile's show on Sirius OutQ yesterday in which Eric talks about his HIV/gay youth activism. He's got some great ideas. Eric has a wonderful radio voice, maybe Sirius should offer him a show too. Eric gives me a kind shout-out at the 9:30 mark.

Buzzer Shot

Anderson Cooper Loves Bears

Somebody got cute with the audio track of a recent Anderson Cooper piece on bears.

In Beijing: World's Largest Building

Twice the size of the Pentagon at 240 acres, Beijing's new airport terminal, takes the title of world's largest building*.

Adorned with the colors of imperial China and a roof that evokes the scales of a dragon, the massive glass- and steel-sheathed structure, designed by the renowned British architect Norman Foster, cost $3.8 billion and can handle more than 50 million passengers a year. The developers call it the “most advanced airport building in the world,” and say it was completed in less than four years, a timetable some believed impossible.

It opened in late February with little fanfare, but also without the kind of glitches that plagued the new $8.7 billion terminal at Heathrow in London, a project that took six years to complete.

This is the image China would like to project as it hosts the Olympic Games this summer — a confident rising power constructing dazzling monuments exemplifying its rapid progress and its audacious ambition.

*Contrary to the linked NY Times story, Wikipedia shows the the Aalsmeer Flower Auction in the Netherlands as slightly bigger.

Florida Approves Anti-Bullying Law

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist has indicated that he will sign the anti-bullying law which passed in Florida's Senate yesterday after being approved by the House earlier in the year.

The legislation mandates that school districts throughout the state must put in place specific policies to deal with bullying that includes methods of investigating and punishments. It also bans cyber bullying. The districts would have to comply by December 1 or risk losing state funds.

The legislation does not, however, list specific categories of students that are protected.

During debate Sen. Nan Rich (D) asked, "Does the bill prohibit harassment based on a student’s actual or perceived disability, ethnicity, national origin, gender, gender identity, physical appearance, sexual orientation or other distinguishing personal characteristic in the exactly the same way that it prohibits sexual, racial or religious harassment, which are specified in the bill?" Sen. Carey Baker, the bills sponsor responded, "Yes it does."

''The intent of this legislation is to protect all children from all types of bullying,'' said Baker. The bill had the endorsement of most LGBT rights groups in the state who have been fighting for eight years to get the legislation passed. Equality Florida said that Baker's response on the record makes it clear that the legislative intent requires schools to ensure LGBT protections at the local level.

"The legislature has made clear that any school that fails to prevent and respond to anti-gay bullying and to protect every student will be in violation of this law and will face consequences," said Nadine Smith, Executive Director for Equality Florida. "We will hold them accountable."

It's interesting that while specific protections for LGBT students are not mentioned in the bill, Equality Florida appears comfortable that a senator's word on the record that they'll be protected will be enforceable.

Jeebus II: ETA 2015

According to a minister quoted on WingNutDaily, the second coming of Jeebus has been nailed down to the the time of a rare "blood moon eclipse" in 2015.

Biltz began focusing on the precise times of both solar and lunar eclipses, sometimes called "blood moons" since the moon often takes on a bloody color. He logged onto NASA's eclipse website which provides precision tracking of the celestial events.

He noted a rare phenomenon of four consecutive total lunar eclipses, known as a tetrad. He says during this century, tetrads occur at least six times, but what's interesting is that the only string of four consecutive blood moons that coincide with God's holy days of Passover in the spring and the autumn's Feast of Tabernacles (also called Succoth) occurs between 2014 and 2015 on today's Gregorian calendar.

"The fact that it doesn't happen again in this century I think is very significant," Biltz explains. "So then I looked at last century, and, believe it or not, the last time that four blood red moons occurred together was in 1967 and 1968 tied to Jerusalem recaptured by Israel." He then started to notice a pattern of the tetrads.

"What's significant to me is that even before 1967, the next time that you had four blood red moons again was right after Israel became a nation in '48, it happened again in 1949 and 1950 ... on Passover and Succoth. You didn't have any astronomical tetrads in the 1800s, the 1700s, the 1600s. In the 1500s, there were six, but none of those fell on Passover and Succoth."

When checking the schedule for solar eclipses, Biltz found two – one on the first day of the Hebrew year and the next on the high holy day of Rosh Hashanah, the first day of the seventh Hebrew month. Both of these take place in the 2014-2015 year. Biltz says, "You have the religious year beginning with the total solar eclipse, two weeks later a total lunar eclipse on Passover, and then the civil year beginning with the solar eclipse followed two weeks later by another total blood red moon on the Feast of Succoth all in 2015."

"If you think that this is a coincidence, I want you to know that it's time!" exclaimed Prophecy in the News host J.R. Church. "There are no more of these for the rest of the century

The second coming of Jeebus will be immediately followed by the ninth coming of Godzilla. And then another Cher farewell tour.

And All The Girls Dreamed That They'd Be Her Partner, They'd Be Her Partner

Carly Simon outs herself, sort of, to the Bay Area Reporter:

Bay Area Reporter: After speaking with you this morning, I'm going to be interviewing Cyndi Lauper regarding her True Colors tour, which features gay and straight artists performing to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign and other LGBT organizations. I'm wondering if Cyndi called you and asked you to be a part of the True Colors tour, might you get involved?

Carly Simon: Well, the part that I could be involved in is the gay and lesbian part. The part that would be hard for me is to commit to a tour because I'm not very comfortable being onstage. But the part that would be easiest for me would be singing on behalf of all of us. I don't consider myself to be not gay.

BAR: Wow! Well, it's great to have you as part of the family.

Simon: Thank you! I mean, I've enlarged all of my possibilities. There are a lot of extremely personal stories to tell about that, but we won't go into that right now. Let's just say that it just depends upon who I'm with.

Broadway Friday

- The Second Annual Broadway Beauty Pageant saw five musical theater hunks compete as the show raised $10,000 for the Ali Forney Center, NYC's homeless shelter for LGBT youth. The winner: Xanadu's Marty Thomas, who reportedly performed the showstopper of the evening, a take on Tina Turner titled Proud Marty.

- Kiss Of The Spider Woman returns to Broadway in the fall, but this time in non-musical form. Interesting. Non-musical movie to Broadway musical to non-musical Broadway play. Has that ever happened before? Peter DuBois will direct, other casting TBD.

- Pulitzer Prize winner David Lindsay-Abaire, the lyricist of Broadway's soon to open Shrek: The Musical, has won the Kleban Award for his work on the musical. Lindsay-Abaire will receive $100,000 - $150,000 over the next two years. Edward Kleban, lyricist of A Chorus Line, created the award in his will to encourage writers in musical theatre. Kleban died of throat cancer in 1987.

- According to the Broadway League, the Great White Way contributed $5.1B to the economy of NYC over the 2006-2007 season. Of the 12.3 million tickets sold, 82% went to non-New Yorkers, almost half of which said they came to town expressly to see Broadway shows. And go to Splash.

- Generally fantastic reviews for the revival of Les Liaisons Dangereuses, which opened yesterday at the American Airlines Theatre. Preview reviews weren't as great.

- Gone With The Wind: The Musical, currently playing in London, may be Broadway bound.

- From backstage at A Catered Affair, star Harvey Fierstein tells of recently turning down a film role: "I've been offered a bit part in the Sandler movie - me and another well-known gay guy. That's the whole gag, one line. I think I have more life in me than being a side gag in an Adam Sandler movie."

- At the Broadway Beauty Contest: "Tommy Berklund (A Chorus Line) sang "Take Me Seriously," a song in which he boasts about his hotness and his intelligence, while tearing his clothes off, ultimately stripping down to the tiniest blue 2(x)ist undies known to mankind." [Photo credits: Michael Portantiere]

DC Madam Found Dead

Deborah Jeane Palfrey, 52, the infamous "DC Madam" was found dead in a shed outside her mother's trailer near Tampa today. Police are calling it suicide.

The woman convicted of running a high-end Washington prostitution ring that snagged a senator killed herself Thursday, police said, weeks after she was convicted on charges she vowed not to go to prison for.

The body of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, 52, was found in a shed near her mother's manufactured home about 20 miles northwest of Tampa. Police said she left at least two suicide notes and other writings to her family in a notebook, but they did not disclose their contents. The mother found Palfrey, who had apparently hanged herself with nylon rope from the shed's ceiling.

Palfrey was convicted April 15 by a federal jury of running a prostitution service that catered to members of Washington's political elite, including Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican. She had denied her escort service engaged in prostitution, saying that if any of the women engaged in sex acts for money, they did so without her knowledge.

She was convicted of money laundering, using the mail for illegal purposes and racketeering. But the trial concluded without revealing many new details about the service or its clients. Vitter was among possible witnesses, but he did not take the stand. Channing Phillips, the spokesman for the U.S. attorney's office in the District of Columbia, said that under sentencing guidelines, Palfrey faced 57 to 71 months in prison. She was free pending her sentencing July 24.

Hmm. The head of Washington, DC-based prostitution service, somebody who had many highly-placed men on her customer list, is found dead. Palfrey had recently predicted on radio talk shows that she would be "suicided":

During several recent appearances on The Alex Jones Show, Palfrey also said that she was at risk of being killed and that authorities would make it look like suicide. She made it clear that she was not suicidal and if she was found dead it would be murder. Palfrey had threatened to release the names of well-known clients of her upscale call girl ring in the nation’s capitol, and had indicated that Dick Cheney may be one of them. "No I’m not planning to commit suicide," Palfrey told The Alex Jones Show on her last appearance, "I’m planning on going into court and defending myself vigorously and exposing the government," she said.

I can't wait to see where THIS goes.

(Via - Pam's House Blend)

Eric Leven On Sirius OutQ Today

Young NYC-based gay activist, writer, and filmmaker Eric Leven will appear on Michelangelo Signorile's show on Sirius OutQ today at 3:30PM. Tune and hear about Eric talk about gay youth and HIV activism.

UPDATE: Courtesy of my favorite Sirius insider, here's a pic of Eric and Michelangelo in the studio today. I'll have audio of Eric's interview later.

An Apology To Cooper

UPDATE: A retraction of this post can be found here. You won't believe the REAL story.

In Tuesday's post about gay parenting, many of you weighed in on this growing phenomenon and what it means in the larger picture of our rapidly changing gay culture. Overwhelmingly, you expressed support for gay parents, with small minority expressing strong distaste for gay people who desire to have children. A few commenters directed readers to a blog called Cooper's Corridor (a site unknown to me) for insight into the life of good gay dad.

Late in the day, Cooper's Corridor disappeared.

With his permission, here is Cooper's explanation:

I have deleted my blog. I'm very sad that I have felt the necessity to do this, because I loved the Corridor and feel it had a unique voice of its own. I started getting many hundreds of hits on my blog and multiple e-mails, some very nice, but others full of vitriol and judgement. Yet others poked fun at me. I feel threatened. I won't expose my sons to that kind of scrutiny, so I ended it right then and there. I'll continue writing privately, but never again will I expose my heart and soul and those of my children to public consumption. It may seem like an over-reaction, and although it hurts terribly, I feel I had no choice. It's a sad world we live in when gay men denigrate and deliberately choose to hurt others.

I feel awful. I have pleaded time and time again for a civil tone in the comments of JMG. With a weekly comment volume in the thousands, I don't have the time to moderate or even read many of the comments and I depend on our (mostly) thoughtful and smart community of JMG participants to keep the peace. And it works, mostly. Reviewing the comment thread of the post in question, with a handful of exceptions, there's really not too much there that is very offensive.

But the idea that an apparently great blogger and fantastic gay father could be silenced by nasty JMG readers, even if they were directed to his blog by commenters and not me....well, that really fucking bothers me.

I offer my embarrassed apologies to Cooper.

To Hurl Or Not To Hurl

Well, this show sounds as appetizing as Hell's Kitchen.

In G4’s new series, Hurl!, competitors will not only speed-eat, but they’ll also be made to participate in physical challenges between binges. For example, after stuffing their faces with more chicken pot pie (or blueberry pie, hot dogs, fish sticks, or whatever else is on the menu) than any human being should ever ingest in a lifetime (let alone, one sitting), the participants who eat the most will get to advance to stage two. The second round involves the contestants performing physical challenges that include things like riding on a carnival ride, doing belly flops off a high dive or riding a mechanical bull – basically anything you wouldn’t want to do with a belly full of New England clam chowder.

Whichever contestants make it through the physical challenge without chucking up the contents of their stomachs will get to enjoy another round of eating. If more than one person makes it through that round they do another physical challenge.

I will definitely not be watching this show. I'm a sympathetic hurler.

Only A Dozen

Poor Christine McVie, she only gets a Night Of A Dozen. Meanwhile the Night Of A Thousand Stevies rolls on for years.

Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

My hometown of Orlando has been rousting the homeless from downtown streets, causing them to go live in the woods outside of town.

The homeless crackdown in downtown Orlando has forced many homeless to migrate near east Orange County suburbs. Within four miles of the busy intersection at Colonial Drive and the Econlockhatchee Trail, News 13 was told as 20 homeless camps were set up deep in the woods. News 13 used pictures from Sky 13 after being warned by several homeless people not to enter.

One homeless man, who did not want to be identified, said many walked for miles to east Orange County to get a fresh start. "The cops and society is just downloading on ‘em. It makes it hard. So everybody is coming to a new area, new surroundings. To make their life a little bit easier, I guess," said an unidentified homeless man. Some homeless people said they traveled to east Orange County because there are lots of undeveloped areas, with lots of woods where they can set up camp and hide.

I suppose they have it better than NYC's mole people.

Wingnuts Seek "Online Army" Of Hate

The Center For Military Readiness is seeking an "online army" to fight against the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." I'd suggest signing their petition with infantile names like Jack Mehoff or Pussy Fandango, but they'll probably just send Congress the total count.

The Heckler's Veto

On Wednesday, students at the all-female Smith College invaded the auditorium where anti-gay author Ryan Sorba was giving a speech in support of his new book, The Born Gay Hoax. Chanting and banging pots, the students forced Sorba to abandon his lecture.

And played right into the right's evil hands.

Wingnuts continuously accuse progressives of stifling dissent, of shouting down the opposition. Which is exactly what happened at Smith College. Protest yes, but do it outside the venue. Yes, it's thrilling to see so many passionate Smith students defending themselves against Sorba's asshattery and perhaps we can forgive their youthful zeal. And yes, Sorba was sort of asking for it by appearing at the famously pro-gay Smith College. But that shoe can be worn on the other foot. We wouldn't stand for that, would we?

NYCLU: Pot Arrests Up Tenfold

According to the New York Civil Liberties Union, arrests for the possession of small amounts of marijuana have increased tenfold in NYC over the last decade. Via Gothamist:

That isn't all, the reports are also showing that the NYPD are weeding out Blacks and Latinos, with more than half those arrested being black, and 31% being Hispanic.

A NYPD spokesperson said the system the NYCLU used to cull its numbers is flawed, but many are still taking note, especially since the NYPD itself is criticized for pressuring people into searches and stop-and-frisks (police commish Kelly denies using racial profiling). The NYPD spokesperson denies the report all-together, calling the NYCLU's numbers "absurdly inflated".

The NYPD claims there were only 8,770 marijuana violations during the years 1997 to 2006. But the NYCLU is standing firm by their report, saying that in those years "205,000 blacks, 122,000 Latinos and 59,000 whites for possessing small amounts of marijuana."

Tenfold? TENFOLD? I know violent crime has dropped a zillion percent or something, but are the cops really that fucking bored? And doesn't a stop-and-frisk policy violate the Fourth Amendment? You have to wonder how many of these busts are mere harassment and don't even go to trial.

Clinton, Obama Talk To NC Gay Press

In advance of next week's North Carolina primary, both Democratic candidates have conducted interviews with Q-Notes, a local gay newspaper.

Clinton.
Obama.

Go read them if you want. I'm taking a sick-of-them-both day.

Open Thread Thursday

If you had your entire life on TiVo, what one scene would you watch over and over?

Finally

Strange week, eh? Everybody pretty much sucked with Neil Diamond's material. Paula reviewed a performance that hadn't yet occurred, prompting renewed gossip that the producers were rigging the show. Especially interesting in that regard was Syesha Mercado landing in the bottom two - when the usually reliable Dial Idol had placed her at a comfortable first place. My early favorite David Achuleta continued his month-long run of blandness, but since his puppy dog looks and "aw shucks" personality will sell millions of records to pre-teen girls, I can see why suspicions of favoritism are high.

Brooke White's departure was long-overdue, but the producers might have considered cutting her mike during all that sobbing. Sheesh. Another cruel hallmark of Idol is that departing contestants have to perform a departure song moments after being cut, tears still streaming down their face. But at least Brooke stayed true to form and forgot the words.

The Baptism Of Obama

HRC's David Smith On Sirius OutQ Today

Yesterday Howie Klein, who blogs at Down With Tyranny and Crooks And Liars, appeared on Michelangelo Signorile's show on Sirius OutQ to blast the HRC for withholding its endorsement of U.S. Senate candidate Jim Neal.

On the show, Klein told Signorile's listeners to withhold their HRC dues and send them instead to Jim Neal. The Human Right Campaign's David Smith will appear on the show at 4:30PM to rebut. Listen on Sirius channel 109 or online here, where you can get a free three day pass.

Good Work Wednesday

A Chinese auction at NYC Eagle this Saturday will benefit Braking The Cycle and the NYC LGBT Center.

Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 10pm, Team Eagle is hosting a fundraising auction at the Eagle with some great items on the block including, a Poker Party for 8, an LAPD Helmet, Movie Bundle from HERE TV, Private cooking lesson for 4 from Tim Shaw (Chef to the stars), clothing from Slick it Up, Inseam, Direktor and The Leatherman, Chelsea Piers gym and "W" hotel packages, and much much more!

This year's Braking The Cycle AIDS ride will go from Gettysburg to Manhattan on September 26-28.

Daily Grumble

The temperature in my apartment has hovered around 50 for the last week, thanks to this ridiculous "spring" weather. And don't expect your landlord to fire up the boiler, it's only cold enough to be annoying. Poor Shelley has spent the last few days burrowed under the comforter. I actually considered getting a space heater last night. And tomorrow is May. Bah.

Sweeping Reforms For Australia's Gays, But No Marriage

The Australian government has announced over 100 reforms giving gay couples almost the same rights as straight couples - with the notable exception of marriage.

The move has been welcomed by LGBT groups but has drawn criticism over the refusal to legalise 'gay marriage'. Under the changes, gay couples in long-term relationships would be treated the same as married couples on issues such as taxation, pensions and welfare payments. Attorney General Robert McClelland announced that the Labour government would introduce legislation next month to remove same-sex discrimination from some 100 laws.

McClelland told reporters in Canberra: "The changes will provide for equality of treatment in a wide range of areas including superannuation, taxation, social security, workers compensation and pharmaceutical benefits," "These will make a practical difference to the lives of a group of fellow Australians who, for far too long, have suffered discrimination at a Commonwealth level."

Pink News provides a recap on the status of the marriage equality movement worldwide:

The Netherlands was the first country to allow same-sex marriage in 2001. Same-sex marriages are also recognized in Belgium, Spain, Canada and South Africa. The first same-sex union in modern history with government recognition was obtained in Denmark in 1989.

Civil unions, civil partnership, domestic partnership, unregistered partnership/ unregistered co-habitation or registered partnerships offer varying amounts of the benefits of marriage and are available in:

Andorra,
Colombia
Croatia
Czech Republic
Denmark
Finland
France
Germany
Hungary
Iceland
Israel
Luxembourg
New Zealand
Norway
Portugal
Slovenia
South Africa
Sweden
Switzerland
United Kingdom
Uruguay.

They are also available in some parts of Argentina, Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul), Mexico, the U.S. states of California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, Washington state, and the District of Columbia (Washington, D.C.).

In the United Kingdom, civil partnerships have identical legal status to a marriage, and partners gain all the same benefits and associated legal rights; ranging from tax exemptions and joint property rights, to next-of-kin status and shared parenting responsibilities.

Uh, Massachusetts?

European Court: Siblings Don't Get Same Tax Breaks As Civil Partners

Interesting:

Two elderly British sisters have lost their case in the European Court of Human Rights to allow them to avoid inheritance tax when one of them dies. They argued that British law treats them less favourably than a lesbian couple in a civil partnership. The siblings have been living together in Wiltshire since they were born, but Joyce, 88, and Sybil Burden, 90, fear that one of them will be left with a large inheritance tax bill when the other passes away.

In a 15-2 vote, judges sitting in Strasbourg ruled they did are not the victims of discrimination. "The absence of such a legally-binding agreement between the applicants (the Burdens) rendered their relationship of co-habitation, despite its long duration, fundamentally different to that of a married or civil partnership couple."

The sisters vowed to continue their fight through lobbying politicians. "We are struggling to understand why two single sisters in their old age, whose only crime was to choose to stay single and look after their parents and aunts, should find themselves in such a position in the UK in the 21st Century."

When gay partner benefits are discussed in Freeperland, a common objection is that if unmarried gay couples get benefits, then anybody who cohabitates should get them as well.

HomoQuotable - Wayne Besen

"The decline in the public sex culture and gay bars can be attributed, in part, to the rise of the Internet. However, a larger trend, captured by the Times magazine article, is at work. A good portion of men in their mid 20's have been out of the closet for more than a decade. (They were barely in.) Having had a normal adolescence, they are already burnt out on gay bars and ready to start families.

"A couple of weeks ago, I visited Washington and met up with the friends I used to party with in the mid to late 90's. Today, they are all in long-term relationships and in bed by the time they used to wake up from their disco naps.

"The changes in the gay social scene have happened so fast that they are sometimes difficult to comprehend. It's as if someone slipped a roofie into the GLBT community's mimosa and while we slept Rudy Giuliani swooped down in drag and cleaned up our Times Square.

"Sometimes, I fondly reminisce about the good old days. Then, I recall that that the endless party was a product of our oppression. The storied "days" were actually really late nights - and as I get older, I want to be up on Sunday morning in time to watch "Meet the Press."

"Caught between the wild party and wedding party generations, the rapid pace of change can seem unsettling, yet reassuring." - Activist and author Wayne Besen. Read the entire piece.

Duffy - Warwick Avenue

I cannot get enough of Welsh pop sensation Duffy. And not just because when I first posted about her last year she sent me a sweetly autographed photo. (Which I promptly lost somehow.) This is the third single from the full-length Rockferry, due out here May 13rd.

The previous single, Mercy, topped every chart in Europe, stayed at #1 in the UK for five weeks, and has gotten 7.5 million views on YouTube. The album is already out overseas and is presently #1 for the 7th week on Billboard's Top European Albums chart. Duffy plays Harlem's legendary Apollo Theater on May 12th (get tickets here) and will be performing a free in-store acoustic set at the Union Square Virgin Megastore the next day.

D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y

Somebody wants to help you.

(Via - By The Bayou)

Soylent Yeller

Because America wants a dog food named after beloved family pet that gets rabies and is killed with a shotgun blast from a crying boy.

(Via - Slog)

Another Dumb Distraction

At his press conference to endorse Hillary Clinton on Tuesday, North Carolina Gov. Mike Easley said, “This lady right here makes Rocky Balboa look like a pansy. There’s nothing I love more than a strong powerful woman.”

Clinton began using Rocky-inspired metaphors during her primary campaigning in Pennsylvania. Philadelphia was the setting for the Best Picture-winning 1976 movie.

Despite an outcry from many bloggers, thus far most gay rights groups have remained silent on the incident, even though the word "pansy" is considered by many to be a pejorative code word for homosexual. Only GLAAD has issued a mild protest.

GLAAD:

"GLAAD is concerned with Gov. Easley's flippant comment this morning utilizing the word "pansy,‘" said GLAAD President Neil G. Giuliano. "The word is considered by many to be a demeaning and degrading reference to gay men. We encourage all those engaging in political rhetoric to stay away from using language that is considered defamatory toward any group of Americans."

But bloggers, many of them Obama supporters, have come out swinging:

NC-based blogger Pam Spauding:

So why didn't our outgoing governor just go ahead and say "faggot"? Note that Hillary, who was right there with the NC gov, said nothing about his remark. Of course Easley infamously received the endorsement of Equality NC in his re-election bid, then in a debate said he'd sign a marriage amendment if it hit his desk, so why should we be surprised. And who is Hillary trying to court here -- the "traditional Southern conservative." Take the homo money and run, as it were.

John Aravosis at AmericaBlog:

It's ironic. Hillary is afraid to use the word "gay," and gets visibly uncomfortable when answering questions about gay issues. But using slurs for "fag"" doesn't bother her in the least. Hillary and her people will say anything to get elected. And if that means gay-bashing to win the bubba vote, then so be it. And her people wonder why so many have turned on Hillary in the past few months.

Ryan Davis at Huffington Post:

Now, I know from spending many recesses in middle school being called a pansy that it's just a subtle way of saying "faggot." Clinton stood by while Easley made that comment, smiling away. Speaking to a prominent gay journalist friend of mine this morning, he expressed his frustration with her campaign. "Hillary doesn't care about the gays. It's that simple. We're a political tool, like everything else in that family's orbit." Clinton owes the gay community, which she has shamefully used as an ATM during her campaign, an apology for gay-baiting. We're waiting, Hillary.

Andrew Sullivan on The Daily Dish:

She's on O'Reilly and her surrogate is accusing her opponent of being a "pansy". Classy - but vintage Clinton. Never miss an opportunity to exploit homophobia. Remember DOMA? Remember doubling the discharges from the military? Remember inaction on AIDS? Remember the Clintons' using anti-gay marriage ads in the South in 1996? And yet the gays keep coming back for more. I don't understand why. I really don't.

Former HRC staffer and Netroots activist Phil Attey emailed me with this scorcher:

The statement was calculated and hateful. Americans over the age of 50 are fully aware that the word "pansy" is that generation's polite way of publicly saying the word "faggot." Both Governor Easley and Senator Clinton are of that generation, and both of them know what he meant by the word. This was not a slip of the tongue. This is part of Senator Clinton's new "Rocky theme" ... a theme that sadly includes now gay bashing. On behalf of the LGBT community, I demand the following three things:

• Governor Easley immediately issue a public apology for his use of hate speech and commit to launch a new state-wide campaign in North Carolina to educate the public on the issue of anti-LGBT hate speech and hate crimes.
• Senator Clinton make good on a previous campaign ascertain that that she would strongly "reject and denounce" any endorsement from someone who engages in hate speech by immediately rejecting and denouncing Governor Easley's endorsement.
• Governor Easley face me in a public boxing ring in Raleigh, NC this weekend, so I can show him and the those who make such hateful comments, that if you go up against a real "pansy," you're going to end up pushing daisies. And, yes, I double yellow dog dare him.

Mixed reactions in the comments of the NY Times's political blog, The Caucus:

- "He was referring to gay male. There is no doubt about it because NC is in the so-called “Bible belt” where gay bashing is common. He was attempting to send a signal to the conservatives by indirectly indicating that Senator Clinton is anti gay just like them. This was clever use of the word."

- "Please. I’m a gay man and I use “pansy” this way myself. I don’t think I’ve ever said it and thought about it meaning someone was gay.Now, if the Gov had said it makes Rocky look “gay” then it would rightly be seen as a shameful anti-gay slur. But pansy? Come on, people."

- "I would define PANSY as someone who claimed to be ducking SNIPER FIRE but in reality was not."

- "Earth to Media: ENOUGH ALREADY! I’m not even a Hillary fan but this parsing of every single word one of her supporters/surrogates says is ridiculous. I don’t like it when it’s done with Obama and I don’t like it when it’s done with Hillary."

When I read the quote early in the day, I dismissed it and didn't even include it in my post about Easley's endorsement, as it came past where I'd decided to clip the story. Obviously, many feel much stronger about the word than I do.

I think I'd prefer that we reserve charges of "hate speech" for more deserving examples, but it will be very interesting to see how Hillary reacts to this, if at all. At the end of the day, however, like the Rev. Wright flap, this is yet another annoying distraction from the real issues facing this country. I am completely sick of thinking about all of them.

Talk, Talk

When I mentioned my 4000th post last week and wondered, "What HAVE we been going on about?" - I should have thought to look at my post tag counter. Since Blogger added post tagging in December 2006, here are the top ten most frequent JMG post topics and how many times they were used.

1. NYC - 357
2. 2008 elections - 249
3. Morning View - 206
4. LGBT rights - 189
5. Gay marriage - 117
6. Hillary Clinton - 103
7. Barack Obama - 101
8. LGBT culture - 71
9. Transgender issues - 68
10. ENDA - 49

Of course, the counts for Hillary and Obama are almost identical because you can't usually mention one without the other. I'm not surprised to see NYC at #1, but wouldn't have thought it would be by so much. I love useless statistics!

HRC Withholds Endorsement Of Jim Neal, Openly Gay North Carolina U.S. Senate Candidate

Via Daily Kos diarist SPNJ889:

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) REFUSES to support Jim Neal, an openly gay candidate in North Carolina running for US Senate. Something fishy seems to be going on. Is the DSCC interfering in a Democratic Primary election?

Jim Neal, a progressive Democrat in North Carolina, is running to take on Senator Elizabeth Dole. He was the only Democrat running for the nomination until the National Democratic Party found out he was gay. The DSCC freaked, and recruited a Republican-lite candidate named Kay Hagan to run for the nomination (she originally refused to run). Basically, everyone in Washington DC is freaked that there is a openly gay candidate who actually has a shot of winning the Dem nomination on May 6th.

Jim Neal is supported by many here in North Carolina. He's a businessman/investment banker, so he has financial sense. He also is progressive on many issues. He's an amazing speaker in person, and would really put Elizabeth Dole on her toes.

Dan Savage:

[I]t seems to me that not receiving the endorsement of the nation’s largest gay rights group might actually help Neal with North Carolina voters. He should point to HRC’s refusal to endorse him as proof that he doesn’t march in lock-step with gay rights groups, blah blah blah, and that their non-endorsement is proof that he’s not a single-issue candidate.

Here's the list of Senatorial candidates endorsed by the HRC:

Max Baucus, D-MT

Joe Biden, D-DE

Susan Collins, R-ME

Dick Durbin, D-IL

Al Franken, D-MN

Tom Harkin, D-IA

John Kerry, D-MA

Mary Landrieu, D-LA

Frank Lautenberg, D-NJ

Carl Levin, D-MI

Jack Reed, D-RI

Jeanne Shaheen, D-NH

Mark Udall, D-CO

Tom Udall, D-NM

I can't imagine why the HRC has not endorsed Neal.

Principal Outs Gay High School Couple

The ACLU is protesting the outing of two high school students by their principal, who revealed the students' relationship to other students and teachers, then called one of the student's mother to reveal her son's gayness and tell her that she would not tolerate homosexuality at her school.

In a letter to school board officials in Memphis, the ACLU demanded that the school reprimand the principal and take steps to ensure such actions never happen again. In September of 2007, the principal at Hollis F. Price Middle College High told teachers she wanted the names of all student couples, “hetero and homo,” because she wanted to monitor them personally to prevent students from engaging in public displays of affection.

The two students now represented by the ACLU, Andrew and Nicholas (who have asked that their last names not be revealed), were two A students who had been seeing each other for a short time and were attempting to keep their relationship quiet and private. The principal heard about them through another student, then wrote their names on a list she posted next to her desk, in full view of anyone who entered her office.

One of the boys’ mothers personally witnessed the list when she met with the principal a few days later. “I couldn’t believe it when I went to meet with the principal and that list was right there by her desk where anyone could see it,” said Andrea, Andrew’s mother. “African American people face enough obstacles to succeeding in this world and I want my son to have every opportunity he’s worked so hard for. Our schools should be helping our children do well, not tearing them down for something like this.”

Although the boys had never been observed by any school staff engaging in any sort of display of affection, the principal called Nicholas’s mother Nichole. According to Nichole, the principal said things like “Did you know your son is gay?” repeatedly and went on to say that she didn’t like gay people and wouldn’t tolerate homosexuality at her school.

Both of the boys are "A" students and one of them subsequently was not chosen for a trip to New Orleans to assist in rebuilding. He was told the school was afraid he would engage in embarrassing or inappropriate behavior.

Details Mag: Single Gay Dads Are Hot

Details Magazine blogs about the gayby boom. Interesting story overall, but with a few "Oh, brother" moments, one of which I've bolded below.

Evidence of the gayby boom is everywhere. It isn't just the strollers in gay neighborhoods. Some Halloween parties at lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community centers now brim with gay dads showing off their immaculately costumed progeny. And participants in New York City's Gay Pride Parade have turned down the volume of the music in order to be more accommodating to kids.

"They're even talking about having a family week on Fire Island this summer," says Ron Poole-Dayan, a marketing consultant who runs a biological-parent support group in Manhattan and has 7-year-old twins with his partner, Gregory Poole-Dayan. "So that tells you something."

Ten years ago, if you were a gay couple who wanted a baby through in vitro fertilization you were likely to go to Southern California, which embraced IVF early on and has many specialist agencies. Today these clinics are pretty much all over the country.

And it's not just gay couples who are investigating IVF. Many homosexual men have decided to go it alone, which provides at least one tangible bonus: While single parenthood can be a turnoff on the heterosexual dating scene, being a single gay dad is—there's really no other word for it—hot.

"In the gay community, having a child as a single man is a sign of assertiveness," Ron Poole-Dayan says. "It's also appealing to know this is a gay man who isn't afraid of commitment." Poole-Dayan says he's seen six out of the seven single gay dads he knows pair off after the births of their children.

That's what happened to B.J. Holt, 40, a general manager for Broadway stage productions. "I worried about being a single father," Holt says. "But sure enough, as soon as I started the process with a surrogate mother, I met my future partner." Today Holt and his partner, who asked that his name be withheld, are raising Christina, who is 7 months old.

Darek DeFreece, 36, an investment-banking attorney who lives in the Bay Area, was aware of the possible consequences of being a single father. "I worried about the workload, about having enough time to give to my family and my personal life," he says. But those concerns seemed relatively trivial when he looked at the long term. "It was especially important for me to have children as a single man. I looked at myself in the future, and being a single, older man without kids didn't seem like a desirable place to be." (DeFreece no longer has to worry about being on his own—he and his partner have 9-month-old twins, Jake and Riley Catherine.)

In other words, if you really want a husband - get a baby. Next week on Maury Povich.

A few years ago when I called out a friend on his habit of cruising men with infants, he sheepishly admitted that he found young fathers "hot". I drew him out further on why he felt that way and he said that a man with a baby in his arms was holding physical proof of his heterosexuality, his very masculinity, and that, therefore, made him "hot". Hotter, by definition of his status as a breeder, than any gay man. Nothing new in that, much of gay porn launches from the same conceit.

I've run into this "hot father" mindset a few other times and I'm quite certain that some of these gay men acquiring babies are merely using them as a gentler, 21st century version of past masculizing devices: muscles, tattoos, trucker wear, etc. However, I am very aware that my own utter lack of interest in parenting may cause me to project these suspicions onto those who are completely undeserving.

Of course, how this gayby boom plays into the increasing straightifying of gay culture in another issue entirely. Any gay person that wants to be a parent should pursue that dream - I just worry that some of these dreams are coming from the wrong place. Still, as a commenter here said recently, even we old-school queers have to consider that perhaps by having children, these queer parents are the true transgressives of the movement. Let's hope that most of them are doing it for the right reasons.

NC Gov Endorses Hillary

A week before that state's primary, North Carolina Gov. Mike Easley has endorsed Hillary Clinton.

At a joint appearance in Raleigh Tuesday morning, the two-term Democrat said Clinton "gets it." "It's time for somebody to be in the White House who understands the challenges we face in this country," Easley said. Easley's endorsement comes a week before the state's May 6 primary. It's a boost for the former first lady, who is trailing Barack Obama in most state polls. Easley is the second North Carolina superdelegate to endorse Clinton. Obama has the backing of six superdelegates in the state. Easley and Clinton began the day touring a biotechnology lab at North Carolina State University.

North Carolina holdouts: According to the New York Times, Elizabeth Edwards is leaning on her husband to endorse Hillary. John Edwards is thought to be waiting until there is a clear nominee, presumably not to hurt his chances of being selected (again) for the VP slot. There is a chance the two Edwards will split their endorsements. The family plans to visit Walt Disney World this week in order to keep the primary spotlight off of them.

UPDATE: Andy Towle covers the growing controversy regarding Gov. Easley's comment that Hillary "makes Rocky Balboa look like a pansy."

How To Sabotage Your Candidate

Dana Milbank:

Speaking before an audience that included Marion Barry, Cornel West, Malik Zulu Shabazz of the New Black Panther Party and Nation of Islam official Jamil Muhammad, Wright praised Louis Farrakhan, defended the view that Zionism is racism, accused the United States of terrorism, repeated his view that the government created the AIDS virus to cause the genocide of racial minorities, stood by other past remarks ("God damn America") and held himself out as a spokesman for the black church in America.

In front of 30 television cameras, Wright's audience cheered him on as the minister mocked the media and, at one point, did a little victory dance on the podium. It seemed as if Wright, jokingly offering himself as Obama's vice president, was actually trying to doom Obama; a member of the head table, American Urban Radio's April Ryan, confirmed that Wright's security was provided by bodyguards from Farrakhan's Nation of Islam.

Wright suggested that Obama was insincere in distancing himself from his pastor. "He didn't distance himself," Wright announced. "He had to distance himself, because he's a politician, from what the media was saying I had said, which was anti-American."

Obama:

"Some of the comments that Rev. Wright has made offend me, and I understand why they offend the American people. He does not speak for me. He does not speak for the campaign."

Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti

Another gay cannibal?

A gay Yorkshire man has been charged with murder in the death of a man he picked up. The naked body of Damian Oldfield, 33, was found in a house in Harehills following remarks the suspect made at a local takeout restaurant. Police said that part of Oldfield's right leg had been cut out and pieces of diced meat were discovered in pot on a kitchen stove.

Forensic tests on the meat showed it to be human. Investigators say they do not know how much of the leg had been eaten. Anthony Francis Morley, 35, is in jail awaiting trial. Police say they do not know how Oldfield and Morley met and have appealed to the gay community for help. Oldfield worked as an advertising salesman on a Leeds-based magazine. Colleagues say they are shocked at the killing.

Surely you remember Armin Meiwes, the gay German cannibal whose 2001 personal ad said, "If you are between 18 and 25 years old, you are my boy. Come to me and I eat your horny flesh." One of the men responding to Meiwes' ad voluntarily allowed himself to be castrated and then he and Meiwes sauteed and ate his penis together. When the organ donor's body was found, Meiwes had consumed at least 40 lbs of it. Meiwes was sentenced to life in prison last year.

I'm not even gonna see what the Freepers say about this one. Probably something like: "The liberal-controlled MSM will never let this story onto the front page. They don't want America to KNOW the truth about how many "gay" people engage in cannibalism!!"

Analogies Are Fun

(From Married To The Sea via Ballad Of A Ladyman)

Swag Tuesday

Courtesy of Fly Life, this week's Swag Tuesday prize is two tickets to the True Colors Tour starring Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s, Andy Bell, Rosie O'Donnell, Wanda Sykes, Deborah Cox, Joan Jett, Joan Armatrading, the Cliks, the Indigo Girls, Nona Hendryx, and others.

Here's a video clip of Cyndi inviting you to the 26-date tour, which kicks off in Boston on May 31st and finishes at Colorado's legendary Red Rocks Amphitheater on July 5th. Check out the artist lineup for the show nearest you because it changes from date to date.

The winning tickets are good nationwide and may be redeemed for any show on the tour. Enter to win by commenting on this post. Please only comment once and remember to leave an email address that you check frequently. Entries will close at midnight PST. Publicists: if you'd like to take part in Swag Tuesday on JMG, please email me.

NPR On Gay Bar Extinction

On Friday, NPR's Marketplace show discussed the rash of gay bar closures around the country, citing Fortune Magazine's recent list of "10 Businesses Heading For Extinction", which includes gay bars. Listen to the audio here. An excerpt:

Every year, Fortune Magazine releases a list of 10 businesses it thinks are facing extinction. Some of this year's casualties? Record stores, crop dusting and telemarketing. Oh, and gay bars, too. That one caught our eye because gay business in general is booming. Stacey Vanek Smith has more.

STACEY VANEK-SMITH: It's a busy weekend night at a gay bar in Los Angeles. Actor Jason Dottley says gay bars don't just cater to a gay clientele anymore. The scene has become a lot more mixed.

Jason Dottley: It's an indication of open-mindedness. I think it's a sign of progress.

But that progress has a left some older gay bars sounding like this . . . [sound of ocean waves crashing]. The Boom Boom Room opened in Laguna Beach in 1947. It used to be a favorite hangout of Rock Hudson's. But today the windows of the white, art-deco facade are papered over. Fred Karger started coming here in 1973.

Fred Karger: It's a magical place. It had a little, kind of loungey bar, and it had pool tables. They'd have this wonderful cabaret show on Wednesday nights.

The new owner plans to tear down the Boom Boom Room and build a luxury hotel. Gay bars all over the country have met similar fates: New York's Roxy, The Avalon in Boston, The Pendulum in San Francisco. But here's the weird thing: Gay business is booming. Gay spending power in the U.S. is worth an estimated $750 billion. So why are gay bars having so much trouble? Marketing expert Jerry McHugh says part of it is generational.

Jerry McHugh: Generation X people and Generation Y people are less concerned about gay-exclusive socialization, and they're more interested in a more-diverse environment.

McHugh says for gay boomers, bars used to function like community centers.

McHugh: When I came out it was the early 90s, and it was really helpful to go to these places.

Boston Globe writer Robert David Sullivan says a few years ago he noticed the number of gay bars in Boston had been cut in half. He says it was strange because they had been such a cornerstone of the gay social scene.

Robert David Sullivan: It was sort of structured that you could meet people that way, and you could say things and not censor yourself.

Sullivan says today young, gay men and women use the Internet, not bars, to meet people. And the older generation has graduated from late-night bar hopping to a mellow meal out.

I can't find the referenced Fortune story, but a seemingly identical list appears on Entrepreneur.com.

Florida Says Nuts To Nuts

Oh, those wacky Floridians. A bill is before the state legislature to ban the "ornamental testicles" that some Sunshine State idiots are hanging from their trucks and SUVs.

Metal replicas of bull testicles have become trendy bumper ornaments in some parts of the Sunshine State, but state Sen. Carey Baker is campaigning to ban the orbs.

Baker acknowledged that Florida lawmakers have more pressing issues, including huge revenue shortfalls, but said the state needs to draw a line on what's obscene before more objectionable adornments appear. State Sen. Steve Geller argued against Baker's bill. "I find it shocking that we should be telling people that have the metallic bull testicles ... you're now going to have points on your license for this," said Geller.

Geller was in the minority. Baker's bill to fine drivers $60 for displaying the ornaments passed the Senate. It's now up to the House, but there's only a slim chance that members of that chamber would pass the measure before the session ends this coming Friday. If it were to be passed, Gov. Charlie Crist has not indicated whether he would sign it, although he has not been too critical of this and other not-so-pressing issues. "It's good to have some things that maybe aren't quite as serious. Got to have a little levity," the governor said. A similar bill in Virginia, aimed at rubber trailer hitch replicas of male human genitalia, died in committee this year.

If you must, you can get your "bumper nuts" here. You can also get the nuts on a hinge so they swing in traffic. Ugh.

PhoboQuotable - Albert Mohler

In the Christian Post, Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, reacts to the Times Magazine article about young married gays, taking particular note of the couple that hinted that theirs would be an open marriage.

"Young Gay Rites" is itself a noteworthy signal about the future of marriage. If Denizet-Lewis is right, the legalization of same-sex marriage is changing the ways some homosexuals are living their lives. In other words, same-sex marriage in Massachusetts is changing homosexual culture in some unexpected ways.

The Christian concern about marriage is rooted in the picture that marriage provides. Marriage is a covenant and the central institution for human society. The picture of marriage is the bringing together of those who are alike (both made in the image of God) and different (male and female). Out of this picture of difference brought together within covenant comes the gifts that flow from marriage.

The tragedy of same-sex marriage is not the awkwardness and strangeness revealed in this article, but the repudiation of that picture. That repudiation represents a great loss and confusion – but it also represents a violation of God's command concerning marriage.

Denizet-Lewis's article raises at least one final thought. If the legalization of same-sex marriage is changing homosexual culture, is it also changing heterosexual marriage? We can only wonder how long it will take for some heterosexual couples to decide that "emotional fidelity" and "sexual fidelity" can be separated.

We are living in the midst of vast cultural change. It is almost as if an entire civilization is being transformed before our eyes. Reading "Young Gay Rites" should be sufficient to make that realization hard to miss.

Somebody needs to lift up that rock and holler down to Mohler that millions of hets already have open marriages.

(Via - Queerty)

True Colors '08 Tour Dates

The 2008 True Colors Tour lineup includes Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s, Andy Bell, Rosie O'Donnell, Joan Jett, the Indigo Girls, Deborah Cox, Wanda Sykes, the Cliks, Nona Hendrix, and others.

05.31.08 Boston MA US Bank of America Pavilion
06.01.08 Wantagh NY US Nikon at Jones Beach Theatre
06.03.08 New York US NY Radio City Music Hall
06.04.08 Toronto ON CA Molson Amphitheatre
06.06.08 Mashantucket CT US Foxwoods Casino
06.07.08 Washington DC US DAR Constitution Hall
06.09.08 Minneapolis MN US US Bank Theater
06.10.08 Chicago IL US Chicago Theatre
06.11.08 Clarkston MI US DTE Energy Music Theatre
06.13.08 Atlantic City NJ US Borgata Hotel and Casino
06.14.08 Bethel NY US Bethel Woods Center for the Arts
06.16.08 Atlanta GA US Chastain Park Amphitheatre
06.17.08 Atlanta GA US Chastain Park Amphitheatre
06.18.08 Clearwater FL US Ruth Eckerd Hall
06.19.08 Fort Lauderdale FL US Sinatra Theatre
06.21.08 Houston TX US Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion
06.22.08 Dallas TX US Superpages.com Center
06.23.08 Oklahoma City OK US Zoo Amphitheatre
06.25.08 Phoenix AZ US Dodge Theatre
06.27.08 Alpine CA US Viejas Casino
06.28.08 Los Angeles CA US Greek Theatre
06.29.08 Berkeley CA US Greek Theatre
07.01.08 Seattle WA US WaMu Theater
07.02.08 Vancouver BC CA Deer Lake Park
07.04.08 Salt Lake City UT US USANA Amphitheatre
07.05.08 Morrison CO US Red Rocks Amphitheatre

Most tour dates are already on sale. Buy tickets here.

But She's Too Young

Ex-Boyfriends - Situation

Here's the first video from San Francisco's Ex-Boyfriends. The JMG reader who sent along the clip notes that the video was shot at SF's armory, now the home of Kink.com, which may explain the bondage imagery. Great song.

20/20 Explores "Gay PDA"

Friday night's edition of 20/20 explored the reactions of the public to two gay couples engaging in public displays of affection in Birmingham, Alabama and suburban New Jersey. In Birmingham, the sight of two men kissing on a park bench prompted one woman to call 911, but overall the reactions were surprisingly supportive.

The Chosen Family

On Saturday night my clan gathered at Nowhere Bar to celebrate Dr. Jeff's 30th birthday. The next day, the always eloquent Father Tony reflected on our chosen family:

As I looked about the room, I saw a few new faces, but mostly those of the men we have come to know over the past few years. Our little brigade has grown and evolved and owns much common memory. Now, we are known to each other rather deeply. As is the case with any family, there have been great bushels of laughter, a few words that might have been better left unsaid, some romance, some dalliance and some easily forgiven nonsense by the revelries of the moon. We have supported each other in unwarranted ways, and have not written each other off because of imperfect behavior. We have kept secrets, and not kept secrets. We have sometimes embellished the secrets we have not kept. Throughout, we have edited and framed each other brilliantly.

Yes, yes, yes.

Young, Gay, & Married (And Divorced)

Captioned with photos that mock the misty 1950's image of domestic bliss, the lengthy cover story in yesterday's New York Times Magazine tells the story of several gay male couples in their 20's who have married in Massachusetts since it became legal in 2004. The author, a young gay man himself, was bewildered when some of his peers started getting engaged:

I didn’t know what to make of these engagements — or of my subsequent discovery that more than 700 gay men 29 or younger had married in Massachusetts through last June, the latest date for which numbers are available. On the one hand, I wondered why these guys were marrying so young. What was the rush? It seemed to me that one of the few advantages of being young gay men — until gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts, at least — was that we were institutionally protected from ever appearing on “Divorce Court.”

But I could also relate to young gay men yearning for companionship and emotional security. Had gay marriage been an option when I was 23 and recently out of the closet, I might very well have proposed to my first gay love. Like many gay men my age and older, I grew up believing that gay men in a happy long-term relationship was an oxymoron. (I entered high school in 1989, before gay teenagers started taking their boyfriends to the prom.) If I was lucky enough to find love, I thought, I’d better hold onto it. And part of me tried, but a bigger part of me wanted to pitch a tent in my favorite gay bar. I wasn’t alone. Everywhere I looked, gay men in their 20s — or, if they hadn’t come out until later, their 30s, 40s and 50s — seemed to be eschewing commitment in favor of the excitement promised by unabashedly sexualized urban gay communities. There was a reason, of course, why so many gay men my age and older seemed intent on living a protracted adolescence: We had been cheated of our actual adolescence. While most of our heterosexual peers had experienced, in their teens, socialization around courtship, dating and sexuality, many of us had grown up closeted and fearful, “our most precious and tender feelings rarely validated or reflected back to us by our families and communities,” as Alan Downs, the author of “The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World,” puts it. When we managed to express our sexuality, the experience often came booby-trapped with secrecy, manipulation or debilitating shame.

Also telling their stories are a couple of young guys who've already been gay-married and divorced.

George was still struggling to understand where his marriage went wrong. He met his ex four years ago, when George was 22 and living what he called “a carefree post-college life” in Northern California. George said he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but he fell in love with his ex (who was several years older) after meeting him through mutual friends.

“At the time I was thinking, Wow, I really wish I had met you eight years from now,” George recalled. “But I met him when I met him, and I wanted to be with him. I knew I had a lot of growing up to do if I wanted to make the relationship work, and I did. I grew up pretty fast.”

The couple registered as domestic partners in California (partly for the health insurance) and then moved to Massachusetts a year later, where they were married in 2006 in front of a couple hundred people in a church in the suburb where George was raised. Most of the attendees were family members and friends — some of his ex’s extended family, George said, weren’t supportive of the marriage.

“And in a million other ways we were constantly reminded that our relationship wasn’t equal to a straight relationship, even though we were legally married,” George told me. “Whether it was doing our federal taxes, or hearing that most states weren’t going to recognize our marriage, or just not being able to walk down the street and hold hands without getting snickers or comments. Like many gay couples, I think we brought unresolved shame and deep-rooted feelings of unworthiness into the relationship. You don’t even realize it’s there sometimes, but it definitely affected us.”

And as usual, Dan Savage has the most sensible take on the phenomenon of young married gays:

Dan Savage, the sex-advice columnist, told me he worried that some young gay men in Massachusetts might rush into marriage as a way to have their relationships validated by their families. “Once, our relationships were only respected if we had remained together for a long, long time,” Savage said. “Only longevity earned us some modicum of respect. Straight couples could always rush that validity by getting married. Now I just worry that some gay kids, desperate to have their gay love taken seriously, will wield their new marriage licenses and say: ‘See how real our love is? We’ve only been together five months, but we’re already married. You better respect us now!’ ”