No Gay Mayor For Dallas

Openly gay Dallas mayoral candidate Ed Oakley lost today in that city's runoff election, defeated by retired businessman Tom Leppert. Surprising poll workers, today's runoff seems to have had higher turnout than last month's general election. Oakley, who is CFO of a company that owns several Dallas gay bars, called Leppert late today to concede and congratulate him on his win.

Despite Oakley's loss, the election was a notable landmark in LGBT politics because neither candidate made Oakley's sexuality a major issue. However, early in the month Oakley did say that he suspected that Leppert's campaign had prior awareness of an anti-gay phone campaign launched by the right-wing Heritage Alliance. Leppert denied knowing of the phone campaign and publicly called for its end. This was the most expensive mayoral campaign in Dallas history with over $5 million spent by all candidates. Oakley's campaign was supported in part by the Victory Fund, who issued a statement congratulating him on his historic campaign.

Stiff Sentences Handed Down In Village Stabbing

Last summer a "gang" of seven young black lesbians partying near the Christopher Street piers attacked a passing straight man after he allegedly made a lewd sexual remark about "turning them straight." The man was beaten and stabbed. You may recall me posting about it at the time as part of the still-ongoing debate about the situation with unruly minority teens in the West Village.

Yesterday Patreese Johnson, the 20-year old ringleader of the gang, was sentenced to 11 years in prison for her part in the attack, one of the severest sentences ever given for a non-fatal stabbing. She was convicted of first-degree gang assault. The other women involved received sentences from six months to 8 years. The women had all claimed self-defense, but surveillance video proved otherwise. The man stabbed managed to get in one last insult on the witness stand, calling Johnson the "one slightly pretty" member of the gang.

I fear that those advocating for a police clampdown on gay youth in the West Village will use this verdict as ammunition in their quest, but it should be noted that all those charged in this case are actually adults.

Afternoon View - Flatiron Building

The Flatiron's rehab has been going on for, what, 200 years? I've never seen the building without scaffolding and ad barns around it. These pics embiggen nicely.

HomoQuotable - John Waters

"If Travolta was homophobic, dancing in that fat suit with as many gay people as are working on this film, he would have had a heart attack and been dead." - John Waters, responding to yesterday's Daily News story about a brewing boycott of his upcoming movie, Hairspray. Waters: "First of all, he is playing a loving mother, not Harvey Milk. I'm all for gay troublemaking, but is this journalist going to police the religion of all actors? Do we boycott Nicole Kidman because she's Catholic?" (Sounds like a lot of the commenters here. Does Waters read JMG? Say "Hi", John!)

Referring to Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff, Waters took issue with the story's headline, "Travolta in 'Spray' Revolts Gays", saying, "It should have said 'Revolts Gay,' because it's just one person." As for Naff's contention that Divine would be upset over Travolta's casting, Water's adds, "Believe me. Divine was not political. Once, accidentally, because he didn't know better, he did a tour of South Africa during the apartheid era. ... He wouldn't be rolling in his grave except for the fact that he didn't get the part."
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"I Got A Crush On Obama"

YouTube isn't allowing me to embed the video, for some reason, but you MUST go and watch I Got A Crush On Obama by Obama Girl. It's actually a pretty sweet tune and I could totally see it being this summer's slow jam. The girl in the video is not the singer, by the way. Lyric sample: "You'll get your Oval Office, you'll get your head of state." Heh.

Baldwin & Barney: Stop Killing Of LGBT Iraqis

Openly gay reps Tammy Baldwin and Barney Frank have written to Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, demanding an inquiry into the abuse and murder of LGBT people in Iraq. The full text of the letter is here.

Islamic militias continue to abuct Iraqis suspected of being gay, often leaving their battered corpses for their families to find. In April, the Iraqi government spokesman softened his government's previous position that the murder of gays should not be included in UN death tolls, as they were "less than human".

The problem continues unabated in Iran as well. In July last year, I covered a protest of these murders at the Iran Mission in NYC. A website exists to accept donations to assist LGBT people attempting to escape Iraq.

Trevor Project Gala: June 25th

The Trevor Project, which operates the nation's only 24/7 suicide prevention helpline for gay teens, will be holding a gala event on June 25th at NYC's Millenium Hotel. The event will include a silent auction, dinner, music and comedy performances and an awards ceremony where Nathan Lane will receive the Trevor Hero Award. Also scheduled to appear: Tim Gunn, Carson Kressley, Julie Goldman and many others. Get your tickets here.

Gravel Speaks To The Gays

Last night I attended the Queerty-sponsored speech of presidential candidate Sen. Mike Gravel at the Hotel Chelsea's Star Lounge. While Gravel spoke passionately about ending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and marriage equality, he made a couple of missteps. First, when expounding on his position that closeted gays hurt the cause, which all here agree, I'm sure, he said, "Be proud of who you are, whether you're gay or lesbian or transvestitite!" Uh, "transvestitite", Senator? That caused a few rolled eyes.

Then during the Q&A, I asked, "Senator, what do think the chances are of getting ENDA passed during the current session?" Gravel responded that he had no idea what ENDA was. I gave a brief description of ENDA and he said he supported it, "of course". Gravel left the Senate in 1981, so I suppose he can't be expected to be current on all pending legislation, but I found his ignorance on ENDA to be rather unforgivable, particularly when he'd been invited to speak to gay activists.

The event was well-attended and I congratulate the Queerty guys, David Hauslaib and Andrew Belonsky, for to putting it all together.

U-C-F

From the Really Unimportant News department comes word that the University of Central Florida (my alma mater) has dropped the "Golden" from their team names, now being merely the UCF Knights. I'm still a little freaked out that the little commuter college I attended (back when dinosaurs ruled the earth) is the 6th largest university in the country and is on pace to be the largest within a few years. I wonder if the kids still say that UCF stands for "U Can't Finish"? By the way, the team mascot is called "Knightro". Yeah, ugh. But they do have a huge new stadium.

Morning View - Shake Shack

These silly sheep are waiting in line at Madison Square's Shake Shack, Danny Meyer's insanely popular burger joint where it can take two hours from getting in line to actually eating. Once you order, it can be about another 45 minutes before you get your food. The Shack Shack has a live cam so office workers nearby can assess the line. I love a good burger, but I've never eaten at Shake Shack, no burger is worth their wait.

28 Rochester Lane

Lady Randomocity stepped away from the keno table, lit a Marlboro 100, and revealed that Dan of Rochester, NY, was the winner of this week's Swag Tuesday: a copy of Armisted Maupin's Michael Tolliver Lives. Dan sez: "Read Armistead Maupin!! Not just the Tales of the City series, but The Night Listener, and Maybe The Moon - two of my favorite books of all time, and fantastic summer books." Thanks go out to HarperCollins for this week's booty. Micheal Tolliver Lives is in stores now. Publicists: if you'd like to take part in Swag Tuesday on JMG, please email me.

Cat Of The Year

Andrew Lloyd Webber has been writing a sequel to Phantom Of The Opera, called Phantom In Manhattan. However: "I was trying to write some new music; Otto got into the grand piano, jumped onto the computer and destroyed the entire score for the new Phantom in one fell swoop."

And Broadway was saved. Who's a good kitty? You are! Yes, you are!

(via - Joel Defner.)

From reader Brad:

Marriage Equality Preserved In Mass.

UPDATE: I neglected to mention that the vote below was much closer than it seems, as only 50 "yes" votes were needed to get the measure on the ballot. My apologies.

In a 151-45 vote, Massachusetts legislators just voted "NO" to putting an anti-gay marriage amendment up to a statewide vote in 2008. Putting the amendment on the ballot would have threatened to undo the landmark 2003 decision granting marriage equality in Massachusetts. This vote bodes well for marriage equality legislation pending in Illinois, New Jersey, New York and Rhode Island.

Hairspray Boycott Gains Visibility

In a story picked up by today's NY Daily News, Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff is joining the chorus of critics calling for a boycott of the new movie version of John Water's Hairspray, charging that star John Travolta's faith, Scientology, is homophobic. I haven't mentioned the boycott previously, because I didn't think much would come of it, but the story has gained a lot of traction in the last couple of days, with coverage yesterday in the Huffington Post and on Hollywood.com.

The Daily News contacted the New York Scientology headquarters to request their position on homosexuality, and were told, "Scientology doesn't try to tell people what their sexual orientation should be. The emphasis is on helping people survive better in the world. If a person comes into Scientology and they are involved in doing anything that they consider detrimental to their survival, then they can change that compulsion." Yeah, compulsion, that's the word for it.

I'm a bit torn on this. Travolta has never uttered an anti-gay peep, as far as I know. And while I can guarandamntee you that I will never again view a Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise movie, that's because they opened their big yaps to spout their batshit philosophies. For the moment, I'm happy to let Travolta be privately crazy, without it affecting my attendance of his movies. However, I'm also ready to spin on my heel and go the other way, should Travolta's private crazy go public.
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HomoQuotable - Jim McGreevey

"It's more her awful appearance in an inappropriate and ill-fitting ballgown with a plunging neckline." - Former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey, blaming his estranged wife's attire on Oprah for her book's poor performance, rather than his having charged her with being homophobic. In addition to dissing her fashion sense, he said her book is "dull" and "poorly written". Meow!

The End Of Wizzy

Last night's WYSIWYG Gays Gone Wild show was a blast. All the performers were hilarious, with Leigh Thompson's question and answer routine about his life as a transman being the highlight of the evening. Rod Townsend sang a song about gonorrhea (to the tune of ABBA's Mamma Mia) and Amnesia Sparkles did a bit about being Satan's receptionist. Joel Derfner and Kelli Dunham got naked during their sets, to the delight of the crowd, but that was not in MY plans, despite a few catcalls to follow suit. In honor of the last Wizzy, I reread 2004's The Dealbreaker, the first story I'd performed at Wizzy, and a new piece titled Hanky Code, which I'll post here later this week. Big thanks to WYSIWYG producers Chris Hampton and Andy Horwitz for having me back so many times over the years. It was a sad but distinct honor to be the final performer at a show series that will surely live in NYC theatre fame. I fear that there will be a videoclip of the show up at Gawker some time today, I will advise.

UPDATE: Little David has posted a nice review of the show.

Open Thread Thursday

I'm a "good" sleeper. I can sleep through noise, through bright light, just about anything. I've slept soundly, flat on my back on the bare floor of an airport terminal. And when I wake up, I'm up. Within 30 seconds of opening my eyes, I'm out of bed. No snooze alarm, no comfy half-awake blankey snuggling. In fact, I don't even have an alarm clock. I somehow always wake up when I need to. I realize that I am a freak in this regard.

My twice-a-month house guest Eddie, however, needs total sensory deprivation at my place: earplugs, eye mask, the works. I've stayed with him in hotels where he had to cover the nightstand alarm clock with a towel because its blinding LED lights would keep him awake, if he'd forgotten his eye mask. Likewise, any light leaks around the room door or through the peephole would render him unable to sleep. He also sleeps in a t-shirt and socks, but no underwear, but that's another freaky issue altogether.

So...how do you sleep?
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GDPs: New York = Brazil

Here's a fascinating map that compares the Gross Domestic Product of other countries to American states with similar economies. Texas=Canada. California=France. And New York=Brazil. Unreal. Embiggen for the easier reading.

Happy Birthday, Crixi!

A little cyber-birdie just told me that today is the birthday of beloved JMG commenter Crixi Van Cheek. Have a great one, Crixi! (I suppose I shouldn't get in the habit of mentioning reader birthdays or that's all I'd be doing. Hey, when is Lynette's?)

Moby Dick Via MTA

There's a new service out of NYC called Daily Lit which will email you chapters of classic novels and famous texts for easy reading via your PDA. If you've got a train or bus commute and you have a Blackberry or similar device, you can catch up on the classics, 1000 words at a time. It's a free service, all you have to provide is your email address and how often you'd like to be sent chapters. If you finish early, you can respond "send next chapter immediately." I'm slogging throught their list looking for something that appeals to me. Sense And Sensibility? Ugh, no thank you. Anna Karenina in 430 parts? Uh, no. It looks like they have about 700 books so far. So much for Brick Breaker and Solitaire. You don't have to be in NYC to use the service, obviously.

Truthiness

Union Square, outside NYU dorms, Tuesday, 11:30PM

Girl 1 (on cell): Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. You ain't got no dick anyway.

She hangs up....

Girl 2: Dude, I thought you said he has a nice cock?

Girl 1: Shut up!
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Six Weeks With Shelter Kitty

Some of y'all have been nagging me for a kitty update, so here's a shot I took of Shelley this morning as she begged for a bite of my breakfast. She's decided she does like human food, unless she doesn't, in which case she drops it in her water bowl. She's also taken to waking me up to feed her by biting me on my chin. Shelley had another "phantom" heat episode last week, right on time, three weeks after the last one. Still haven't decided what I'm going to do about that. It doesn't seem to make her particularly unhappy, but for me, not so fun. Otherwise, she's a complete spazz.

Reggae Artists Pledge End To Anti-Gay And Violent Lyrics

My hero, British gay activist Peter Tatchell, is (among many other things) the coordinator of the Stop Murder Music campaign, which seeks to end the anti-gay lyrical content of reggae music. Today three of the top reggae artists in the world, Beenie Man, Sizzla, and Capleton, have announced that they have signed on to the Reggae Compassionate Act in a deal brokered with top reggae promoters and Stop Murder Music activists. The act reads:

It must be clear there's no space in the music community for hatred and prejudice, including no place for racism, violence, sexism or homophobia. We do not encourage nor minister to HATE but rather uphold a philosophy of LOVE, RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING towards all human beings as the cornerstone of reggae. We agree to not make statements or perform songs that incite hatred or violence against anyone from any community."

Reggae artists have come under increasing scrutiny for their violent and anti-gay lyrics, with some artists having their performances cancelled due to the protests of activists. Tatchell: "The singers' rejection of homophobia and sexism is an important milestone. We rejoice at their new commitment to music without prejudice." Five other "murder music" artists, whose lyrics routinely call for gay bashing and the murder of gay people, have not signed the act. They are: Elephant Man, TOK, Bounty Killa, Vybz Kartel and Buju Banton.

RELATED: Peter Tatchell was recently beaten by anti-gay protesters at Moscow Pride.

The First Gay Mayor Of A Major U.S. City?

Dallas' openly gay mayoral candidate Ed Oakley is in the final stretch of his campaign as the city prepares for next week's runoff election. Will Oakley become the first openly gay mayor of a major American city? Current polls show the candidates in a dead heat.

The Victory Fund, which supports LGBT candidates nationwide, has issued a letter thanking Oakley supporters in advance and saying that his campaign is an "amazing statement about our progress, and we should take a moment to reflect on and appreciate where we are. We don’t do that often enough."

20 Years Of ACT-UP In Photos

A photographic retrospective of the work of Chuck Stollard covering the 20 years of ACT-UP's Los Angeles chapter will run June 16th -July 21st at LA's Drkrm Gallery:

Drkrm. Gallery proudly announces the opening of SILENCE=DEATH: Los Angeles AIDS Activism 1987 – 2007, slated for a June 16th opening and running through July 21st. Commemorating the 20th anniversary of ACT UP/Los Angeles, the exhibition features the work of Chuck Stallard, who documented one of the most dramatic and successful protest groups in recent history. The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) became a national and world-wide movement, with one of its most effective chapters in Los Angeles.

Folsm Street East: This Sunday

Folsom Street East, NYC's smaller but almost as pervy version of the legendary San Francisco leather fair, takes place this Sunday on Chelsea's W.28th Street. I'm told this year's festivities include a "porn star pie eating contest". Will there be actual pie involved? Inquiring minds, and all that. FSE is put on by GMSMA, the Gay Male S&M Activists. Hey, whatever happened with that trademark battle between the NYC and SF Folsoms?

UPDATE: Uh, oh. I've just agreed to be a judge in the porn star pie eating contest. This could be interesting.
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Tick, Tock, Dick Docked

The big story blowing up the blogosphere today is whether Dubya had his watch stolen when he dove into that rare adoring crowd in Albania. Watch the video between 0:50 and 1:10 and see Dubya's watch disappear in what some are calling "the pickpocket of the century." The White House is claiming that Bush merely removed his watch and handed it to a Secret Service agent, but that doesn't seem to be what happens from what I can see in the video. Bush wears (or wore, depending on your opinion) a $50 Timex. Reuters is saying that Bush put his hand behind his back for the guard to remove the watch. Whatever happened, it's funny that this has become "big news".

Mrs. Love Guv: The Gays Don't Love Me!

Dana Matos McGreevey has filed additional divorce papers claiming that because of her ex's charge that she is homophobic and knew he was gay before they were married, gay men are not buying her book, causing it to tank. (I guess that hour-long fawning she enjoyed on Oprah didn't have its usual magical effect.) She also claims the charges have hurt her in her career as a non-profit fundraiser: "False accusations of homophobia cast [her] in a bad light and negatively affect her ability to succeed in her livelihood," the suit claims.

The soon-to-be former Mrs. Love Guv complains that ex-Gov. McGreeevey "used his experience in manipulating the media" and deliberately timed his accusation of homophobia to make news "shortly before the publication of [her] much anticipated memoir." This had the effect, she claims, of "deterring purchases by members of the gay community."

No, honey. We weren't gonna read your book in the first place.
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Gay Blog Power

Press release:

Please join Queerty THIS THURSDAY, June 14, in New York City as we celebrate gay pride with special guest Sen. Mike Gravel, the U.S. Presidential Candidate.

In the running for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination, Sen. Gravel has bestowed us the extreme honor of meeting Queerty's readers. He tells us that he's thrilled to be welcome at this first-ever Queerty event — so we hope you'll join us in hosting him.

WHEN: This Thursday, June 14, 8-10pm
WHERE: The Star Lounge at the Hotel Chelsea, 222 W. 23rd Street (between 7th and 8th avenues)

Cocktails Provided

ABOUT SENATOR GRAVEL
Senator Gravel supports same-sex marriage and opposes the Defense of Marriage Act. He supports expanding hate-crime legislation and opposes laws that allow discrimination against sexual orientation, as well as discrimination on the basis of one's gender identity or expression. In the absence of full marriage rights, the senator supports domestic partner benefits for all Americans. He strongly opposes the military's 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' legislation on the grounds that it is unconstitutional, as it restricts the rights of gay Americans, and he opposes any state or national constitutional amendment that restricts the rights of the LGBT community.

I will be there.

And After It Explodes, The Soldiers Give Each Other A Mani-Pedi

I wasn't going to going to mention this story, as it's rather old news, but more information is coming to light about the Pentagon's so-called "gay bomb" via Berkeley's Sunshine Project, an activist group dedicated to uncovering the military's bio-weapons research.

Blah, Blah, Blah

This is my 2000th post. Good grief, what have we all been going on about?

Secondhand Toke

I hate to say this, but I think I'm totally going to have to go upstairs and knock on my neighbor's door to say, "DUDE! Lay off the fucking bong!" When my air conditioner is on, it must just suck all his smoke right into my apartment. The smell of weed has always nauseated me, which sucks for me in general, because I have a few friends who are major potheads. I don't think the smoke is coming from the old lady across the hall, if SHE were toking, she'd wouldn't be the evil witch that she is.

HomoQuotable - Tyler Whitney

"Who I'd like to meet: Any conservative college student in the DC area who is interested in fighting the left" - From the MySpace page of 18-year old Tyler Whitney, the webmaster for rabidly homophobic Republican presidential candidate Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO). Whitney was outed this week by Michigan gay newspaper Between The Lines.

Whitney is also affiliated with the hate group Young Americans For Freedom and was pictured with a sign that said "Go Back In The Closet" as he protested against a proposed comprehensive human rights ordinance in the city of Lansing (which later passed). Whitney was handpicked to run his campus chapter of YAF by MSU chapter leader Kyle Bristow, who has appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, and has been quoted as saying that gays are deviants who deserve to be in prison and that if he had a gay son, he would kill him.

As a commenter here said recently, I believe that children are our future, unless we stop them. Still, I feel sorry for this kid and the fucked up road he has started upon.

(via - Michelangelo Signorile.)

UPDATE: Tyler Whitney has updated his MySpace page, removing the hateful language and his "straight" orientation.

Wizzy Reminder: Tomorrow

Swag Tuesday

This week's Swag Tuesday booty is perhaps the most hotly anticipated gay lit release of the year, Armisted Maupin's Michael Tolliver Lives, out today from HarperCollins. Is there any other series of gay books more beloved than Tales Of The City? It doesn't seem possible.

Maupin denies that this is a seventh volume of his beloved Tales of the City, but—happily—that's exactly what it is, with style and invention galore. When we left the residents of 28 Barbary Lane, it was 1989, and Michael "Mouse" Tolliver was coping with the supposed death sentence of HIV. Now, improved drug cocktails have given him a new life, while regular shots of testosterone and doses of Viagra allow him a rich and inventive sex life with a new boyfriend, Ben, "twenty-one years younger than I am—an entire adult younger, if you must insist on looking at it that way." Number 28 Barbary Lane itself is no more, but its former tenants are doing well, for the most part, in diaspora. Michael's best friend, ladies' man Brian Hawkins, is back, and unprepared for his grown daughter, Shawna, a pansexual it-girl journalist à la Michelle Tea, to leave for a New York career. Mrs. Madrigal, the transsexual landlady, is still radiant and mysterious at age 85. Maupin introduces a dazzling variety of real-life reference points, but the story belongs to Mouse, whose chartings of the transgressive, multigendered sex trends of San Francisco are every bit as lovable as Mouse's original wet jockey shorts contest in the very first Tales, back in 1978.

I've met Maupin a couple times, the first time in 1994, as he and the original cast of Tales From The City were running to join the Stonewall 25 Pride March here in NYC. Maupin was quite gracious, introducing me to the cast, whom I largely ignored as I stood in the middle of 5th Avenue, starstruck by Maupin himself. I'm still kicking myself for not paying more attention to the actors. I still have Maupin's autograph from that encounter, which he gave me on the back of a Waldolf-Astoria postcard, the only thing I had on me.

Today is "Michael Tolliver Day" in San Francisco, where Armisted Maupin will be reading from Michael Tolliver Lives at Books, Inc. in Opera Plaza. Thanks go out to HarperCollins for participating in Swag Tuesday on JMG. Enter to win a copy of Micheal Tolliver Lives by commenting on this post. Only your first post counts and please remember to leave your email address. Publicists: if you'd like to take part in Swag Tuesday, please email me.

Stop Holsinger

The Human Rights Campaign has set up one of their easy-peasy letter grids for you to voice your opposition to Dr. James Holsinger's nomination as Surgeon General. Click on the link and tell your Senators to vote "NO" on Holsinger.

Here's a few things Holsinger has done that proves his unsuitability to be the nation's top doctor:

• In 1991 used basic plumbing analogies to write a "scientific and medical" paper arguing that homosexuality is unnatural and dangerous.
• Founded the Hope Springs Community Church, which reportedly has a special program to "cure" gays from "that lifestyle."
• Past writings indicate that he views sexual orientation as a "lifestyle choice." This could not be further from the view held by mainstream medical or scientific organizations.

STOP HOLSINGER, WE CAN DO IT!
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HomoQuotable - Stephen Benjamin

"As the friends I once served with head off to 15-month deployments, I regret I’m not there to lessen their burden and to serve my country. I’m trained to fight, I speak Arabic and I’m willing to serve. No recruiter needs to make a persuasive argument to sign me up. I’m ready, and I’m waiting." - Arabic translator Stephen Benjamin, fired for being gay, in an essay in the New York Times titled "Don't Ask, Don't Translate." Read his entire piece, it's thoughtful and compelling.

The Ritz Returns

Here's some exciting Broadway news: Terrence McNally's 1975 hit play The Ritz is returning to Broadway in October, with Rosie Perez playing the role of Googie Gomez, which was originally played by Rita Moreno. I never saw the play, but the 1976 movie version is one of my favorite films of all time, one of those classic gay films that just gets better and better upon repeated viewings. And yes, my friends and I can quote from The Ritz as easily as most of y'all can quote Mommie Dearest.

For the baby homos out there, the plot revolves around a man (played on stage and screen by Jack Weston) who hides out from his mafia-connected brother-in-law in a gay bathhouse. While the movie can justifiably be criticized as one long joke, as Weston takes about half the movie to figure out exactly where he is, Moreno's Googie is hilarious as the bathhouse's real-woman performer continously mistaken for a drag queen. And here's a bit of funny dialogue in which the clueless Weston (Gaetono Proclo) is invited to another man's room:

Patron With Cigar: Crisco.
Gaetano Proclo: What?
Patron With Cigar: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. Pass it on.
Gaetano Proclo: Pass what on?
Patron With Cigar: Bring Joey.
Gaetano Proclo: Who's Joey?
Patron With Cigar: You know Joey. Don't bring Chuck. You've got that?
Gaetano Proclo: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. I can bring Joey but not Chuck.
Patron With Cigar: Check.
Gaetano Proclo: What's the matter with Chuck? [answer is whispered in his ear]
Gaetano Proclo: [absolutely horrified] Chuck is definitely out!
Patron With Cigar: [walking away] Hey, you won't be disappointed.

There's also a chubby chaser who follows fat guys around the tubs with a tray of pastry, shouting, "Jelly rolls!" When a not-fat-enough guy comes on to him, the chaser says, "I'm RESTING. It's a EUPHEMISM for not interested, skinny!"

Other great quotes here. I can't wait.

They Cut A Bitch

The often confusing and always contentious argument between trangender activists and lesbians continues to grow, as lesbian rocker Bitch was removed from last Friday's performance roster at the Boston Dyke March, due to complaints by transgender activists. The transactivists have a problem with Bitch having performed at the Michigan Women's Music Festival, an event famous for the its long-standing restriction against attendees or performers who are not born-women.

As Effective As Chicken Bones Soaked In Voodoo Sauce

"To all those involved, sinners in spirit, and whoever helps and protects them, may they feel a curse on their souls, may it plague them and may evil pursue them; they will not be requitted of their transgressions from heavenly judgment." - Orthodox Jews placing a curse upon Jerusalem Pride.

Ooh, everybody scared now?

Police are still debating allowing the June 21st event to take place. Last year's Jerusalem Pride was delayed, then cancelled, then held in a sports stadium, rather than risk a march through protesters. Tel Aviv held its pride event last week with little incident.

NOTE: The above linked Orthodox Jews are from the Eda Haredit sect, which Little David advises me are a group that does not recognize the state of Israel, because it has a secular government. Obviously, they do not represent all Orthodox Jews.

Pace Out As Chief Of Staff

Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced Friday that he was replacing General Peter "Gays Are Immoral" Pace as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Of Staff. Gates had planned on naming Pace to another two-year term as Joint Chief, but changed his mind after consulting key members of Congress who are working on 2008 election damage control for the Republicans. CNN is reporting that Pace's departure may be linked to his anti-gay attitude.

Gates said, “I have decided that at this moment in our history, the nation, our men and women in uniform and General Pace himself would not be well served by a divisive ordeal in selecting the next chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.” Back in March, Pace had said, "I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts," resulting in the outrage of gays nationwide and the rejuvenation of ACT-UP who protested Pace's remarks in Times Square. Most Democratic candidates were quick to take the opportunity to issue remarks decrying Pace's commentary, although Hillary Clinton in particular was a bit slow on the draw.

Sharra Greer, director of law and policy for the Servicepersons Legal Defense Network, said, "Congressional leaders, in warning Secretary of Defense Gates that Pace's remarks would be an obstacle to his confirmation, have sent a clear message that anti-gay prejudice has no place in public policy debates."

According to reports, Pace's departure may also have to do with his support of Scooter Libby and the Iraq war, but however you dice it, General Homohater is gone, daddy, gone. And the week starts on a good note for the movement.
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Morning View - From The TriBorough

Here's a tiny sliver of northern Manhattan as seen from the Queens-bound TriBorough Bridge. Embiggen for a small bit of clarity.

2007 Tonyzzzzzz

Somehow I managed to keep my eyes open during last night's soporific unhosted Tony Awards, which may have been the most boring telecast in Tonys history and that's saying something. Bring back Hugh Jackman! The two big winners each nearly swept their respective categories, with Spring Awakening winning eight musical awards and The Coast Of Utopia taking seven Tonys, a record for a play.

Sadly, my beloved Kiki & Herb did not win for Special Theatrical Event, losing out to ventriloquist Jay Johnson in a race that the New York Times had characterized as "the dummy versus the drag queen." Boo. Also: boo, boo, boo.

David Hyde Pierce was a surprise Best Actor (Musical) winner for his performance in Curtains, bringing the only real suspense of the evening for me as I waited to see if the recently out Pierce would thank his partner. He did, but unfortunately his acknowledgement came at the end of his acceptance speech as the orchestra began playing him off the stage. Pierce said, "...and my partner Brian, 'cause it's 24 years of listening to your damn notes, that's why I'm up here tonight. Thank you." The camera did a quick shot to a beaming middle-aged man in the audience, but they'd been cutting to so many other people that Pierce thanked, I've no idea if that was Brian. (UPDATE: It was.) Still, good for Pierce.

Musical Winners:
Musical - Spring Awakening
Director - Michael Mayer / Spring Awakening
Actor - David Hyde Pierce / Curtains
Actress - Christine Ebersole / Grey Gardens
Featured Actor - John Gallagher/ Spring Awakening
Featured Actress - Mary Louise Wilson /Grey Gardens
Choreography - Bill T. Jones / Spring Awakening
Score - Duncan Sheik & Steven Sater/Spring Awakening
Orchestration - Duncan Sheik / Spring Awakening
Book - Steven Sater / Spring Awakening
Revival - Company
Sets - Bob Crowley / Mary Poppins
Costumes - William Ivey Long / Grey Gardens
Lighting - Kevin Adams / Spring Awakening

Play Winners:
Play - The Coast Of Utopia
Director - Jack O'Brien / The Coast Of Utopia
Actor - Frank Langella / Frost/Nixon
Actress - Julie White / The Little Dog Laughed
Featured Actor - Billy Crudup / The Coast Of Utopia
Featured Actress - Jennifer Ehle / The Coast Of Utopia
Revival - Journey's End
Sets - Bob Crowley & Scott Pask / The Coast Of Utopia
Costumes - Catherine Zuber / The Coast Of Utopia
Lighting -Brian MacDevitt, Kenneth Posner, and Natasha Katz / The Coast Of Utopia

NOTE: Thanks to reader Brad, for getting the full Pierce quote.

UPDATE: I snagged the below photo of David Hyde Pierce's partner, Brian Hargrove, from Towleroad.