Saturday, November 04, 2006

Blowoff At CMJ

It's CMJ time again in Manhattan, and last night our crew gathered at Fat Baby on the Lower East Side for a DJ showcase featuring Blowoff (pictured with me, above) and MSTRKRFT. Standout tracks for the evening were two new Rich Morel productions: Pursue (Morel Pink Noise Mix) - I Like It Electric, and Love Story - Madelin Zero + Morel. Look for Love Story to be huge. (I met Madelin Zero on the dancefloor and gushed embarrassingly. She's from Orlando!) Next week we'll all be down in DC for the monthly Blowoff party at 9:30 Club. Yay, dancing!

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Flaming Flare From Arizona

From everybody's favorite gay archaeologist, comes a request that we put in a call or thirty to the anti-gay marriage hotline set up by a group called Protect Marriage Arizona. You've all got a phone sitting right there on your desk or under your left asscheek. Pick it up, dial, and voice your opposition. It's a free call, for YOU. Give the perky young woman at the hotline a call. Get to know her. Be real sweet.

1-866-48MARRIAGE

Mike Jones - Man Of Steel (Balls)

My hat is off to Mike Jones, but I worry for his future in Colorado, with so many of the Zombie Army Of God likely plotting his demise in something other than the traditional fiery pit of hell. I can only imagine the volume of death threats that must be pouring in. (photo via Towleroad.)

RELATED: Watch Haggard admit hiring Jones (to get a massage) and buying meth from him (to throw it away.) Haggard claims he was "referred" to Jones' massage services by a Denver hotel, but now he can't remember which hotel.

UPDATE: The Advocate interviews Mike Jones.

Meatspace

My buddy Jerry and I hung out backstage with Meat Loaf after last night's show at Times Square's Palace Theatre. He's a very nice guy, charming in person, but almost three hours of one crashing, overwrought Jim Steinman ballad/epic after another was not my cup of tea. That didn't stop the sold-out venue (average age around 60) from going apeshit, most notably the entire front row, comprised of 20 flannel-clad, mulleted, gym teacher-esque stone butch dykes in their late 50's who watched 80% of the show on their 2" digicam LCDs, as they each slavishly recorded every moment (when they weren't head-banging and throwing up devil horns). Who knew? Easily the most bizarre disconnect between image and behavior I've seen this year.

Like everybody else, I bought Bat Out Of Hell thirty years ago, I think it was required by law. And it was sweet to have the show kick off with Paradise By The Dashboard Light, complete with a taped Phil Rizzuto. But despite a 25 piece band backing him, including a 16 girl string section, the show quickly blurred into one long series of eternal indulgent guitar riffs and explosive crescendos that abruptly dropped into whispers, as the Steinman oeuvre demands. From our "music biz" section on the lip of the mezzanine, I could see several oversized-type lyrics sheets taped to the floor near the footlights, which didn't stop Meat from forgetting the words to Objects In The Rear View Mirror. An interesting night, but not one I'm likely to repeat. And tickets on the main floor started at $250, FYI. I can't imagine what all those daggers paid to be in the front row, but it looked like they had the time of their lives. Me, not so such.

Misdirection

When the Foley scandal broke, Fox News was identifying him as a Democrat. So how long before Fox starts referring to Haggard as a Muslim?

UPDATE: My boss is peeved that I didn't credit him with suggesting this post. Oops.

Speed Dialing

Tom Brokaw interviewed Ted Haggard in 2005:

Ted Haggard: I’m not a power broker. I don’t call presidents. I don’t harangue the White House.

Tom Brokaw: You don’t have to call him. He calls you.

Haggard: I’ll be talking to the White House in another three and a half hours.

Brokaw: About what today?

Haggard: I don’t know the subject today. We have a regularly scheduled conference call.

Brokaw: They reach out to you?

Haggard: Yes.

Brokaw: What have you discussed on previous calls?

Haggard: The fight for the souls of American youth, protecting the pre-born, and that sweet sweet rush from sucking back a big hit of meth while your man-hooker's tongue is in your ass.

HomoQuotable - Ted Haggard

"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address." - Disgraced right-wing evangelical Ted Arthur Haggard, asking his male prostitute to procure crystal meth for their next tryst, according to voicemails verified by an expert. (via- DailyKos)

UPDATE: Listen to another voicemail from "Art".

UPDATE II: Haggard admits to hiring Jones (for a massage) and buying meth (to throw it away).

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Epiphany

You know that your sack action has seriously declined when you find yourself standing in the local gay sundries retailer, staring at a giant display, and realizing that you no longer know which brand of lube you usually buy. Tragic. At least I still know which beer I drink.

Speaking In Tina Tongues

Ted Haggard, the virulently anti-gay head of the National Association of Evangelicals was outed today by a Denver television station after it aired an interview with a male prostitute who claims that Haggard has been patronizing him for three years and had used crystal meth during their sessions. Watch the interview here. (via - AmericaBlog.) Haggard, married with five kids, is one of the nastiest anti-gay xtians out there. He is also apparently the poster boy for gayface.

Foley, Craig, Crist, Mehlman and now Haggard. Xmas has truly come early this year! Who's next? Somebody has got to have something on Karl Rove out there.

UPDATE: Focus On The Family's James Dobson (based in Colorado Springs like Haggard) has come out swinging in a press release, lambasting the MSM for covering the Haggard expose': "It is unconscionable that the legitimate news media would report a rumor like this based on nothing but one man's accusation. Ted Haggard is a friend of mine and it appears someone is trying to damage his reputation as a way of influencing the outcome of Tuesday's election -- especially the vote on Colorado's marriage-protection amendment -- which Ted strongly supports. "

You can tell FOTF where to stuff it at CultureIssues@family.org. Or just call their press agent Gary Shneeburger directly: 719-548-5853.

UPDATE II: In under one day, over 2500 blogs have picked up the Haggard story. Go us!

UPDATE III: The hooker claims to have a letter, emails, and voicemails from Ted Haggard and plans to play the voicemails on Denver radio tomorrow afternoon. As always, you can come back here to JMG and I'll have posted an MP3 of the voicemails for your chortling pleasure.

UPDATE IV: HAGGERT HAS RESIGNED. More here.

Marlin Beach Hotel

Today's gay history lesson: Fort Lauderdale's Marlin Beach Hotel, the place that caused so many men to move to Fort Lauderdale in the 70's and 80's. Busy in the winter, but not so much in the summer, the Marlin's famous t-dances on its Poop Deck packed the boys in every day during the 6 weeks of spring break. It's where I met my first serious man-crush, in 1978. It's where I met Sylvester, in the elevator. It's where I embarrassed myself terribly on my first visit, by swimming to the bottom of the pool at night to investigate the strange flashing lights. Only later that evening did I find out that the lights were shining through the windows of a disco under the pool, and that I'd been cracking everybody up down there with my puzzled, puffed-out cheeks investigation.

The Marlin Beach fell into disrepair and disrepute in the late 80's when South Beach became popular, drawing most of the beach crowd 30 miles south. After a few years operating as a defacto hustler joint, the hotel closed in '92, later torn down and replaced with a massive Marriott Hotel tower atop a multi-floor open-air retail arcade. Here's what it looks like today, third picture down.

I miss the Marlin. It was an amazing place. Entertainers I saw there include DJ Robbie Leslie, Dana Manchester, Viola Wills, Sharon Redd, Karen Young, Pamely Stanley, Two Tons Of Fun, Sylvester, Paul Parker and many more. And oh yes, once or twice I rather enjoyed that long subterranean tunnel that led from the basement disco, under the highway, and up to the beach. For at least ten years, my favorite t-shirt in the world, worn almost weekly, was the image depicted on the right in the top photo. My favorite part of wearing that shirt was pointing out that you could see the reflection of a shirtless man in the guy's sunglasses.

Open Thread Thursday

How Do You Identify?
Gay Man
Lesbian
Bisexual Man
Bisexual Woman
Straight Man
Straight Woman
MTF
FTM
Intersex

Labels:


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Where's The Beef?

The beef, gentle readers, will be hoofing down Avenue A to Big Lug tonight for DJs Paul & Damian's 80's & electro party. See y'all there. And please folks, ease off on the promo requests. I usually only mention events here if a) I am going to be there, and/or b) it's being run by meatspace friends. Tonight, I'm requesting Love Is A Battlefield, so I can do that Disgruntled Ho dance.

The Gays Always Know

Cafe Metro, Madison & 42nd, 8:45am

(In line in front of me at the omelet station.)

Girl 1: I never know what to wear out anymore. Everything changes so fast. I'm so behind on what's cool.
Girl 2: I know, right? I totally almost put on a poncho the other day. It's like you can't even trust what they wear on Last Night's Party!
Girl 1: I just need to get me a good gay boyfriend. The gays always know.
Girl 2: Well, you've got Andrew.
Girl 1: Andrew's not gay.
Girl 2: .....
Girl 1: You're joking. Andrew?
Girl 2: .....
Girl 1: I must be living on another planet. I had no clue!
Girl 2: On the plus side, now you know he really DOES like your hair like this.
Girl 1: What? And you don't?
Girl 2: .......

blogACTIVE Ken Mehlman Parody Ad


Mike Rogers of blogACTIVE and Proud Of Who We Are has released an ad parodying the race-baiting ad used by the Republican National Committee in Tennessee's senatorial race, in which racist miscegenation messages were played up when a white woman blows a kiss into the camera and suggest that the black Democratic candidate "call me." In this blogACTIVE spot, Rogers turns the tables and plays RNC Chairman Ken Self-Hating Homosexual Mehlman at his own gayme, as a young fey man suggests that Mehlman call him.

Seven Shot In Castro

Seven people were shot during last night's annual massive Halloween celebration in San Francisco's Castro district. Police also reported a stabbing and a sexual assault. For years, local gay activists and merchants have been complaining about the "unofficial" event in the Castro, as it brings up to 500,000 mostly-straight people into the gayborhood, some of whom are aggressive and violent. When I lived in SF, there were some scary incidents that caused most of my friends to refuse to go anywhere near the Castro on Halloween night. Last week the Bay Area Reporter called the Halloween party the most controversial issue in the city's supervisors race. It's a shame that gay people can't/won't even go into their own neighborhood on such a festive night as Halloween, but obviously the Castro event is now over.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Super Hits Fitty-Deuce

It was Superdaddy's birthday at the Dugout on Sunday and Aaron's cupcakes brought all the boys to the yard. Normally I wouldn't post a picture with Mark in such an unusually fey pose and myself making that Colleen face, but we both look thin. Mark's pointing at my Bears Did Terrible Things To Me t-shirt. Get your own here, from the Van Gogh-Goghs.

Citizen Chris

Chris Crain, former editor of the Washington Blade, has started a blog. Some of you might not-so-fondly recall Crain's hiring of Republican White House shill "reporter" Jeff Gannon/Guckert, a move that was widely criticized. Last year, Crain was accused of having spiked a story outing head Republican strategist Ken Mehlman, which Crain has denied. Crain has an issue with what he calls "boundry-free" outing of gay Republicans, calling AmericaBlog's John Aravosis a "self-appointed hypocrisy cop." Perhaps Crain is still feeling the sting of his own "semi-closeted Republican past."

Homoquotable - Charlie Crist

"Marriage is a sacred relationship. Like I had, before I got divorced." - Closeted Republican scumbag candidate for Florida governor, Charlie Crist, expressing his opposition to gay marriage during a debate with other gubernatorial candidates. During the debate, Crist also said that he opposes gay people raising children. Crist has repeatedly sidestepped questions from the press regarding his own homosexuality, which has been considered an open secret in Tallahassee, where Crist is currently Florida Attorney General.

Florida just keeps cranking 'em out. If only literally.

Mimi Le Duck

Last night my theatre buddy David and I attended a preview of Mimi Le Duck, an off-Broadway musical starring Annie Golden (left) with a supporting appearance by the absolutely legendary Eartha Kitt. Mimi Le Duck, which got its start at the 2004 Fringe Festival, tells the story of a disaffected Idaho housewife who abandons her Mormon family and her job painting duck scenes for the QVC Channel to travel to Paris in search of her artistic muse, accompanied by the ghost of Ernest Hemmingway. In Paris she rents a room from fading "Paris Bird" torch singer Eartha Kitt, while befriending a transvestite oyster shucker. Got all that?

It was obvious that despite her smallish role, the audience was there to see Eartha Kitt. Kitt, who turns 80 in January, earned applause merely for appearing from behind a curtain in her first scene, during which the producers allow her to deliver her trademark throaty growl. David and I were concerned that Kitt might not be entirely ambulatory, as for her first two appearnces she was literally rolled onto the stage on a moving platform, but soon enough she was strutting, squating, hip-thrusting and showing her octegenarian gams in a gown slit thigh-high. Kitt was in amazing shape and lovely voice, there's none in the world like her. Despite not being the lead, Kitt was allowed the final bow. Her three numbers were my favorites in the show.

Annie Golden, whose voice reminds me very much of Debra Jo Rupp (the mom on That 70's Show) is a favorite of David's and we both agreed that she pretty much carried the show. The rest of the cast was solid enough, but we found some of the show a bit tedious, especially during the first act, during which I think I could actually hear David rolling his eyes. Still, I can recommend Mimi Le Duck, if for no other reason that it's worth sitting there for 2 hours just to hear three songs by uber-diva Eartha Kitt. Mimi Le Duck opens tonight at the New World Stages.

UPDATE: Proceed At Your Own Risk's Richard Rothstein's much less kind review is here.

Morning View - Turtle Bay

Looking south from the upper-deck Manhattan-bound lane of the Queensborough Bridge, you see Turtle Bay, the neighborhood that starts just north of the United Nations.

Solo Slot

You have to wonder exactly how much business Netflix is doing when the post office at Grand Central has to devote one of its three drop-off slots to Netflix returns only. Impressive. My own Netflix viewing has nose-dived in the last few months. I think I had Transamerica for two months before I finally got around to returning it.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Manic Monday

The 6 train, 1:30pm

Everybody eyes the 4-piece mariachi band warily when they board the train carrying their instruments at 14th Street. The riders are expecting to hear yet another doleful Mexican country ballad about a lovelorn farmer, one of those Mexican standards that manages to work in the five or six words that seem to comprise every Mexican pop song. Siempre. Corazón. Amor. Fuego.

The youngest band member, a handsome lad in his late teens, whips his cowboy hat off and begins to sing, as the three others accompany him on their guitars. I've got my iPod blasting so I can't hear anything except Giorgio Moroder's From Here To Eternity. But I do notice that some of the passengers are smiling and nodding. Odd. Usually the riders endure these unwanted performances with a sort of grim resignation, happy to leap to the doors and escape when they reach their stop.

I notice that the girl across from me has removed her earbuds and is also smiling and nodding. I'm hesitant to remove my own headphones but curiousity wins out and I pause my iPod so I can listen without looking like I am. And...it's hilarious. The band is playing Destiny's Child's Independent Woman.

The cute boy singer waves at a group of women at the end of the car.

"All you women who are independent, throw your hands up at me!"

And they do. The women wave their hands in the air, they wave them totally as if they do not care. The singer reverses his stance to sing to the women on the other side of the car.

"All you honeys who are makin' money, throw your hands up at me!"

And they do. They also wave without care!

He points at the two black girls standing in the door.

"All you mamas who profit dollas, throw your hands up at me!"

AND THEY DO. In fact, all the women are dancing in their seats or jiggling from their handrails. Girls, I didn't know you could get down like that. Totally worth the two bucks I toss in the kid's hat. New. York. City.

Japanese Efficiency


Why waste time sitting at your desk when you can learn important English expressions AND work your delts at the same time? Definitely the freakiest YouTube of the week.

(ht- So I Like Superman)

GLAAD Comes Out Against NY Post

Today, GLAAD is calling for complaints to the editors of the New York Post regarding their homophobic cartoonist Sean Delonas, who routinely delivers hate-filled crap like the panel seen here. Selonas has been pissing me off for years. Go here and tell the New York Post how you feel. Do it now.

Dmitri Bartenev

At a banquet in Portland on Friday night, I had the pleasure of being seated next Dmitri Bartenev, of Moscow Gay Pride, which bravely attempted to stage its first-ever Pride march earlier this year, despite the parade having been banned by Moscow's mayor. The marchers proceeded anyway, attempting to lay a wreath of flowers at Russia's Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier. Russia's religious leaders had called for violence against the marchers, who were attacked along the route by skinheads, resulting in many injuries. Police arrested 50-100 of the marchers for violating the mayor's edict banning gay people from gathering in public.

At a meeting before our banquet, when Bartenev introduced himself to a room of 200 gay activists, the entire group lept to their feet with a sustained and tearful ovation. Bartenev is a lawyer and works in Russia to advance the causes of people with mental disabilities, including gay people who have been charged with being mentally unfit due to their homosexuality. He recently won a landmark case in St.Petersburg, defending a soldier who'd been discharged as mentally ill because he was gay.

As you can see by the picture, Bartenev was a little apprehensive to try the "giant bug" on his plate, but I was glad to give him instructions on how to eat his first lobster, and proud just to sit next him. Dmitri Bartenev, gay hero.

Morning View - Citigroup Building

In a neighborhood that mostly comprises 2-3 story buildings, the 50-story Citigroup Building looms over Long Island City, Queens. It's the tallest building in NYC outside of Manhattan and the tallest on Long Island. The Citigroup's completion in 1990 spurred a frenzy of high-rise apartment buildings a mile away on the East River waterfront. While its size does look impressive, most find it terribly out of scale with the rest of Queens. I just find it to be one more boring glass box. The Citigroup has its own subway station in the basement, which I suppose means the employees can come to work without actually seeing its bland awfulness.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Travel Advisory

If you are ever in an airport restaurant and decide to turn on your laptop during your meal to catch up on emails, don't turn back to your newspaper and get totally engrossed in some story. Because if you happened to have left a DVD in your laptop, that DVD might start playing without your notice, which could be very embarrassing if, for example, the DVD happened to be hardcore gay porn. And oh, how red your face will be when you finally realize that for the last ten minutes you've been treating everybody in the JetBlue lounge at JFK to a 10-man gang bang.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.