Morning View - Bedpan Alley

As seen from the Queensboro Bridge, the section of the Upper East Side known as Bedpan Alley, about a dozen major hospital complexes clustered along several blocks of the East River. The highway runs right under many of the buildings.

He-Man Top Slave

Found in the window of a Brooklyn toy stoy. What is this guy? A wrestler? A slave? A top? All three? I might have bought it, but I didn't want to have to drag anything around all day. His expression is ...interesting. Caption, anyone?

Southern Decadence

On the anniversary of Katrina, hopeful New Orleans officials are watching this weekend's Southern Decadence, the 35th annual gay street party that has drawn as many as 100,000 revelers, except for last year's cancelled event. From what I've read, the weekend's organizers are predicting huge crowds rivaling pre-Katrina years, but I'm hearing from friends that so far things are relatively quiet. Anybody else getting reports?

Leash And Lead Abuse

Last month, NY Governor Pataki signed a bill expanding "orders of protection", typically granted to abused spouses or lovers, to include pets, because according to the bill's sponsor, "Abusing a loved one's pet is a way of saying 'You're next.' It's a warning."

Yesterday that law was used for the first time, against a gay man in Queens who reportedly kicked Bibi, his boyfriend's bichon frise. How deliriously happy do you think the NY Post was today, to be able to use this lead:

Sept.1 - I'll get you - you and your little dog, Bibi, too! A jilted gay man turned into the wicked bitch of the west and beat up his ex-boyfriend's tiny bichon frise, prompting the city's first-ever order of protection for a dog.

Sigh. By the way, why did it take FOUR Post staffers to write that little 200 word story?

Morning View - The Plaza Hotel

Don't look for Eloise, she's long been evicted, as the Plaza continues its multi-year retrofit towards "super-premium luxury residences". In the foreground, horses working in the hansom cab industry, one of the few New York City traditions that I would be happy to see gone. It always depresses me to see those poor animals trodding head down through traffic and heat.

Porn Schmorn

Somebody found JMG yesterday by searching for "goy porn". I'm still giggling. I'll toss it over to you guys. What would goy porn look like?

VMA's Tonight At Radio City

A few weeks ago, I thought I'd cheer up a friend who just lost his job by getting us tickets to MTV's Video Music Awards, which are back in NYC this year. The cheapest of the dozen or so online ticket brokers offered tickets at $5000 - $7500. For real. And since that's about 100 times what I'd be willing to pay, we are not going. Maybe I'll walk by the venue on my way home and get some red carpet shots for you guys. "Beyonce'! Look over here!" MTV is giving a nod to Internet 2.0 this year, with a special YouTube channel.

Morning View - Under The 7

Who needs an alarm clock? Who can sleep at all, with the 7 train rushing past your window every 2 minutes? Shot in Long Island City, Queens.

Open Thread Thursday

Summer '06 was pretty great. Only a week or so of miserable heat, but otherwise nicely moderate weather. My weekends were a blur of lazy afternoons in Central Park, barbeques, beer busts and bike rides.

How was your summer?
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The S Is For Super

The little train that could, midtown's S train shuttles between Times Square and Grand Central, delivering in one minute, those too tired or lazy to walk the 0.8 mile distance on 42nd Street above, as well as providing a connection between the lines that run up the east and west sides of Manhattan. Think of the S as the middle part of a capital H. There is a driver on each end of the three-car trains, which merely run back and forth all day on three separate parallel tracks, the shortest line in NYC.

I love the ferocious Queens accent the announcer has on the Times Square end, "Da nexx train arroives on Track Foh-ah." There is no Track Three, by the way. The S train only runs until midnight, after which it is often used by movie crews. Trivia for NY'ers: the Manhattan S train is also the 8 train, in case you wondered why there was no 8. But maybe you don't, now that there's no 9 train anymore.

Gas Pressure

A cab ride from JFK Airport to Manhattan runs around $55-$60, including the flat fare, tolls, and tip, but it can be more for the metered ride to JFK. Taxi fares just went up 26% last May, but cabbies are agitating for another increase, with greatly increased gas costs eating at their daily take. I usually only take taxis on weekends, but I'm finding myself spending at least $50 a week. Combine that with my monthly $76 subway pass and it's still quite a bargain, to my mind, anyway. At least you can get a cab in NYC, unlike when I lived in SF, where post-clubbing cab hailing becomes a blood sport.

National Month Of September Awareness Month

Over one million Americans lost their health insurance coverage in 2005, bring the total of uninsured in this country to 46.6 million, or 1 out of 6 Americans. The uninsured continue to insist on getting illnesses and injuries, swarming public hospitals, sending the cost of supporting Medicaid soaring. In New York State, supporting Medicaid costs the average family of four more than $5000 a year.

What is our noble leader doing about it? Well, yesterday he declared that September will be National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. Thanks, Dub, that helps. Oh, he also declared September to be National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month and National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Awareness Month and National Asshole Awareness Month. Sorry, Dub, I'm already aware of you.

The president declined to declare September, National Stem Cell Research Month. He also is proposing a new law that reduce the ability of patients to sue hospitals and drug companies. Desperate times, desperate measures. Doesn't everybody feel better about the healthcare crisis now?

(Why?)

Further sign that I'm losing my grip is my annoyance with signage like this and my need to photograph it. I do (not) understand the message here. I emailed this post to the bank and will post their response here, if I get one.

Morning View - Empire State Building

As seen last Sunday from the Christopher Street Pier. Clicky pic-y makey biggy.

PhoboQuotable - Tony Perkins

"This is outrageous. Wal-Mart has made its billions by serving the needs of rural communities throughout America. It has never discriminated against homosexuals who want to purchase their products at low prices. Nor has it discriminated in hiring against homosexuals. But that is not enough. The homosexual lobby demands that Wal-Mart grovel. They demand that Wal-Mart take sides in the great cultural clash over marriage." - Family Research Council president Tony Perkins, going psycho on the news that Walmart has partnered with the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Ford Moves Boldly. Maybe.

Times are tough for Ford Motor Co. these days, and advertising critics are buzzing over Ford's new Bold Moves campaign, which Ford says is meant to reach out to many demographics, including nontraditional families. Critics don't know what to make of Ford's Bold Moves website, with its frank acknowledgement of Ford's current financial difficulties.

I'm particularly struck by one spot that features a regulation family of four enjoying a trip to the beach in their new Ford Freestyle SUV. At the end of the spot, Dad gets out of the car with his suitcase, hugs the kids and says carefully to his wife, "Thanks for inviting me this weekend." Mom nods slowly and gives Dad a sad smile, saying, "Sure." Then Mom and the kids drive off, leaving Dad at his apartment.

Critics are seeing this ad as some wacky attempt to reach out to divorced families, as an open acknowledgement from an advertiser, finally, that most people don't live in an Ozzie & Harriet world. There's some talk that kids will respond to seeing families like theirs, whose parents don't live together. But watch the commercial and tell me if you don't also see a possible gay subtext to the scenario. To me, this ad can be read as though Dad has finally come out of the closet, and Mom is regretfully coming to terms with her situation. I don't see any of the usual post-divorce vitriol in Mom's expression, I see resignation. I don't see how the creators of this piece cannot have forseen this interpretation, and therefore I'm giving them tentative applause, until I know better. Am I reading too much into this? What do you think?

Forward View

In the next week on JMG, you'll find two new short stories, set in '79 & '90, and my second vidcast. I'm also going to try and catch up on all the blog email. My apologies if I haven't gotten to yours yet.

HomoQuotable - Elton John

"I want to work with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens. It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don't know until you try." - Elton John, telling Rolling Stone that he wants to make a hip-hop album. Please, Elton. No. (via 365gay.com)

Get The Aricept

Friday - Attempted to walk through the subway turnstyle without swiping my entry card, resulting in an embarassingly public pubic injury to the groinal region.

Saturday- Walked into a pizza parlor on the UES with three friends. Ordered pizza, paid for pizza, then walked home without pizza or friends.*

Sunday - Bought and lost two umbrellas.

Monday - Got angry with ATM machine for refusing to accept my insurance card.

And this morning I picked up my garbage, locked my front door, walked right past the cans at the front of my building, and carried my garbage three blocks to the subway. Kids, it's time for Paw-Paw to start on the Aricept.

*possibly due to alcohol.**
**probably due to alcohol.

Morning View - Roosevelt Island

Roosevelt Island, as seen from the Queensboro Bridge, with the reverse shot underneath. Smack dab in the middle of the East River, Roosevelt Island residents are technically Manhattanites, although they receive police and fire services from Queens. Formerly Minnahannock Island, then Hog Island, then Manning's Island, then Blackwell Island, it was most recently known as Welfare Island, not becoming Roosevelt until 1973. The lower shot is the view from the end of my street on the Upper East Side.

As Blackwell and then Welfare Island, it was a dumping ground for New York's unwanted, who were sent to the island's many institutions: The New York Lunatic Asylum, The Smallpox Hospital, The Charity Hospital, and a huge penitentary. There was also a "poor house", the place that my grandmother always moaned that we were destined for. I remember having a vague feeling of dread, wondering what the poor house could be. For some reason, it seemed to be tied to the cost of toys.

Today the island is largely car-free, the 9500 residents access the tiny .23 square mile island by a small vehicle bridge on the Queens side, city buses, the currently out-of-service tramway, and the subway, which only added a Roosevelt Island stop in 1989, at a cost of $800 million, one of the biggest public transport boondoggles in history. For many years, the only access to the island was a giant vehicle elevator which lowered cars and trucks from the Queensboro Bridge, but now the island is inaccessible from the bridge. For a thorough history of Roosevelt Island, go here.

I apologize for making you suffer through my bizarre fascination with Roosevelt Island.

Ding-Dong

Separation of church and state is "a lie we have been told" and is "wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers", according to Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL), whom you may not-so-fondly recall as having headed the outrageously botched vote recount in 2000 when she was Florida's Secretary of State. That recount swung Florida into Bush's column and his heel onto the neck of the world.

Harris also says that not electing Christians is a good as "legislating sin", words which may just not help her very much in her current senate campaign against Democratic incumbent Bill Nelson. Hey Katherine, somebody shoulda told you there's a lot of J-E-W-S's in your state. The Wicked Witch of the South has really stepped in it big time.

Money Talks, Bullshit Is Extra

If you need a motivational speaker for your next event, you can peruse the personalities offered on AllAmericanSpeakers.com, where for a mere $200,000 you can have Donald Trump or Lance Armstrong. If your budget is more modest, how about Chastity Bono at $5000? Although many of the celebrities listed have the coy phrase "ask about fees" appended to their names, it IS fascinating to learn that, for example, Michael Flatley gets upwards of $100,000 to appear. That had better include some fucking dancing, Michael. Actually, on second thought...

GayPie.com

Co-worker 1 (who has a Cockney-ish accent): Joe, what's a good gay pie?

Joe: A gay...pie?

Co-worker 1: Not pie! Party. (He pronounces it "pah-ee", hence my confusion.)

Joe: Oh, I don't know, but what would be a gay pie?

Co-worker 2: Lemon meringue. Definitely.

Joe: Yeah, I can see that.

Co-worker 1: Yeah, lemon meringue. Definitely gay. It's all sculpted.
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Obey The Eyebrows

I found this billboard on 11th Avenue yesterday. I wonder if they had to photoshop the model's eyebrows or if he just lives in Chelsea? In any case, this is a good example of how the word "queer" has positively entered the public lexicon, to the point where even advertisers feel comfortable using it. Would this billboard have been just as funny or effective if they had used "gay" instead of "queer"? I think with Gay.com billboards around town, the usage of "queer" is still notable and memorable. Manhattan Mini Storage also has a subway campaign that plays off on Brokeback Mountain.

Overheard At The Eagle

Sunday 8PM

Guy 1: Well, maybe you're just not his type.

Guy 2: Bitch, please! I'm everybody's type.
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Morning View - First & 59th