Saturday, May 20, 2006

When Gods Collide

Jeff, the God Of Biscuits, is visiting NYC this weekend and last night at Ty's Bar in the West Village we had a mini-preview of next month's blogger invasion. Those paying homage to the West Coast God included David of Someone In A Tree, Eric of We Like Sheep, Byrne of Crash & Bryne, Michael of Dogpoet, Glenn of Glennalicious, Michael of So I Like Superman, and a supporting cast of their hottie friends. Much beer drinking ensued. There was even a sighting of our local Bob Fosse impersonator, sliding through the bar all fedora and jazz hands. I found the GOB to be charming and exactly the person he seems to be on his blog. - (photo credit: Total Hotness Pete.)

Friday, May 19, 2006

How To Use A Toll Booth In New York

1. Select a racing partner several miles in advance.
2. Exchange angry gestures and dirty looks until toll booth is within sight.
3. Refuse to yield upon approach.
4. Too late, realize exact dimensions of a toll lane.
5. Enjoy new internet popularity.

What Are Your Essential Gay Movies?

Remember six months ago, we had some fun here telling each other our all time favorite movie quotes for gay men? Frameline, the presenter of the 30th Annual San Francisco International LBGT Film Festival, is asking "What is the essential list of gay movies?" , on its blog Persistent Vision. The blog is named for an uncoming conference, Persistent Vision: Evisioning The Future Of Media Arts, which takes place in San Francisco June 19-22. (Register here.)

Ignoring the campy but not actually gay films (i.e. Mommie Dearest), my short list of essential gay films is: Torch Song Trilogy, Jeffrey, Longtime Companion, Hedwig & The Angry Inch.

Please visit the Frameline blog and tell them your essential gay films.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I, Spaced

Every week or so, somebody emails me to ask if I know that some kid is blogging on MySpace as JoeMyGod. Yeah, I know about him. Like I would use Lil Kim as my blog template. Although it did tickle me immensely that the ersatz JMG listed Valley Of The Dolls and The Bible as his two favorite books. "Now you get outta my way, I've got Jesus waiting for me! "

Anyway. Yesterday another reader pointed out that MySpace.com/JoeMyGod was still available, so here I am. Now can somebody give me a ride to the mall? I have a sudden craving to get my nose pierced and buy some rad eye shadow.

HomoQuotable - RuPaul

"We all came into this world naked, the rest of it is all drag." - RuPaul. My summer bear drag: ringer-tees, cargo shorts, tattered ballcaps. Reminds me that I need to get to Old Navy. What's your circuit boy, leatherman, dyke mommy, emo-girl, art fag drag?

Gattaca Alert

Yesterday, I was clicking around a few of the DNA/geneology testing websites, thinking that finding out the precise ethnic origins of our family might be an interesting gift to my sister, particularly for her kids, as she is very interested in researching our family tree. But by coincidence, Aaron has just posted on this topic and he changed my mind very fucking fast.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Hungry, Hungry Unicorn

As I love to pass along new expressions, such as angertwink and urban cougar, allow me to present hungry unicorn, which I felt compelled to look up after somebody landed on JMG while Googling it.

I have never performed a hungry unicorn.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

UPDATE: Just in case you were wondering, and I know you were, the top Google searches that bring people here remain this and this. I'm number one! I'm number one! Sigh. This one still makes me laugh, however.

HomoQuotable - Ian McKellen

"We've got to peddle the lie that we're all the same so we all buy the same products. That's why they don't like openly gay people on TV. We upset the view that we're all the same. What is Magneto going to say about that? Well, what everybody should say: 'Not on your life!' There are people who think you can cure homosexuality. Scientologists will tell you they can cure you. They can CURE you! Well, Magneto suddenly became an easy part to play." - Ian McKellan, talking about the plot for X-Men 3, in which a cure for mutantcy is found. (via 365gay.com)

When I posted my little dig at gay men and their love for comic books, so many of you rushed in to tell me how the X-Men mutants were a huge metaphor for homosexuals and their place in society. Having seen the trailer for X-Men 3, I finally understand. Now I have to wonder, how many of us would take "the cure", were one to be available. I know I wouldn't, but I think we'd all be surprised at how many who would, joyously.

Monday, May 15, 2006

From The Department Of Empty Threats

According to today's NY Times, conservative Xtians are getting serious about their threat to withhold their support in this year's elections, if the Republican Party doesn't ramp up their attacks on gay marriage, immigration reform, and abortion. Their thinking is that maybe if the Republicans suffer a sound thrumping, they'll come crawling back on their hands and knees, ready to obediently stick their noses right back up James Dobson's homo-obsessed ass.

So get ready for yet another onslaught of diversionary, non-critical legislation and related bufferoonery and jackassery. It's all so predictable, isn't it? Not that we aren't at war and occupying two hostile nations and steering towards a third. Not that the entire social safety net isn't about to unravel. Not that the federal budget deficit hasn't veered into a heretofore unseen abyss, one from which it may take decades to recover.

The funny thing is, and I mean this in the sickest sense, I kind of hope the Republicans do toe the Xtian line. That way the curtain is drawn back even further for wavering GOP loyalists to see who is really pulling the strings on our government.

Museum Piece

Monday, 8AM, the 6 train...

The man sitting in front of me is listening to a cassette Walkman, something I only realize after I hear the unfamiliar / familiar sound of a cassette tape being snapped into his machine. I watch his fingers linger lovingly over the worn, but still bright yellow plastic buttons and I think that he must have had that thing for about 20 years. Sitting to the man's left are two pre-teen girls wearing school uniforms. They are watching him fuss with the controls of his Walkman. One of them leans over.

"Hey, what's that?"

He looks at her with disregard. "What's what?"

"That thing you're listening to."

"It's Prince."

"No, I mean the player. That's a player for old school tapes, right?"

"Yeah."

The girls nod. The second one says, "Ooh, right! My auntie has one of those in a picture I have. But I never seen one in person."

The man frowns and says, "Well, it's hardly a museum piece. They still sell them...somewhere."

The girls go back to scrolling through their shared iPod, wearing one earbud each. The man puts his headphones back on and looks away and I wonder if he is feeling a million years old. I know I am.
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